I have been working with a patient who has experienced several losses over the last 2 years. Approximately 6 months ago, she went through a medical scare, and it was the impetus that started her on a journey of quitting tobacco.
Lately, she has been experiencing significant urges to smoke. In our follow-up sessions, we have spent a great deal of time processing how some people smoke to disconnect from experiences and emotions that overwhelm them.
They turn to nicotine because they may not possess the tools to regulate their own emotions and they want to AVOID PAIN. Some people attempt to find comfort in the rapid high from the nicotine because it provides the opportunity to numb out, distract, and/or delay the emotions and pain.
As you all have experienced, using nicotine turns out to be only a temporary fix. Once the effects have worn off, you may feel worse, because you have been avoiding certain emotions for a prolonged period. The nicotine from the tobacco suppresses or numbs your feelings; successfully staying away from tobacco requires staying present in the moment and confronting the emotions that then surface.
As you embark on this tobacco-free journey it will be important to learn how to work through and manage your emotions.
How do you cope with emotions in a healthy way?
- Identify the emotion(s) that you are feeling.
- Identify the message that the emotion is sending.
- What am I gaining?
- What am I losing?
- What am I afraid of?
- Why do I feel attacked?
3. Is there an action that you can take to change the situation? If there is, decide to solve the problem. If there is not, find a way to accept and/or cope with the emotions and move on.
When you develop better coping skills to manage life’s adversities and stress, you will be much more successful at maintaining long-term abstinence from tobacco. There is a great deal of research out there that has shown that the better your coping skills, the more successful you become at maintaining abstinence.
The final thing I want to mention is this: Please do not forget about support! There is a great deal of value in social support (i.e., having a person or persons to connect with when having a difficult day.)
Remember that picking up the cigarette will not change the outcome. The feelings or problems will still be there. If something is bothering you, reach out to family, friends, and resources like becomeanex.org.
What are some ways that you have found helpful to cope with or process difficult emotions?
