what was I thinking.

[wishingstar]

I was sitting a 38 days. Had a few beers and some one left a pack of smokes. Like a dumb a$$. I had one. I did not like the feeling after .I went off to hide with it. Yes I am mad at myelf. I came  on here preching hard.  So how do show other support. After I blew it.  feel like I have no voice now, to help others.  I know it was stupid. at this point. i know I will never do it again. I feel like crap now, and I let every one day,including meself.

you all mean alot to me. 

Renee

P.S, how do i rest my clock.

[debr]

Renee, I've sat in that seat so man times since January.  It's a shitty feeling.  I've blown my quit over stress, chronic pain, and even suicidal thoughts.  You were in the right place before and you will be there once again.  I'm cheering you on, girl!!!!  Go Get Your Quit!!  Love Ya, Deb.

[ninepatch]

You dust off and restart. I still am not drinking because I know it is a huge trigger. You CAN do this. It's a head game and you are a young smart and strong person and you can live free. Not sure how to reset a clock.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

i'm certainly sorry Renee

drinking lowers inhibitions and makes for bad choices.

[YoungAtHeart]

Oh, Renee, 

I am SO sorry.  NOW you know why we tell folks not to drink in the early days of their quits.  You need to promise yourself that you won't do that again! And you need to remember how lousy you feel right now to help you protect that quit.

You are still a valued part of our family - and we will support you in your new quit ---- are you starting right NOW, I hope?  

Please know I will continue to be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

Quit 7/4/12

[newlife5]

forget about the clock,  we are talking about saving you from yourself...i know wxactly how you feel... and it aint good...well you did it and it is past ... you will have to learn from it... you know what i learned?,... the law of addiction is real...i am so addicted that i cannot have just one... if i do i will slide all the way back into addiction before i can even try to pick myself up... it took me a whole year last ime....

so what have you learned... 1) the law of addiction is real... look it up...2).. it takes 3 days to get the nicotine out of your system... 72 hours... which is not easy... cause you have awaken those synapses... but it can be done... recommitt yourself.. get back now  or it will be even harder to accomplish...

i will be praying for you... i know you can do it... but do you

[Leeza]

“The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now”. ― Zig Ziglar

Just keep in your mind what you want most -- to be smoke free!!!!

Sorry for your lost your quit.

[phyllis-12-7-15]

sorry Renee'  You are an encourager. I read your SUCCEED image that you sent me 1st time I logged on here several times a day. We can succeed. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you can go to my quit plan near the top of the page

[Madyzsgocka]

The clock really doesn't mean much in the big picture, but I think the symbolism of it does. Like Patch says, dust off and restart. You say you will not do it again. If that's true, great! Re-setting your clock keeps you real and accountable to yourself. My link should work. Re-set it and go on. Learn from this. As far as I'm concerned, booze is the biggest trigger for most. For me it wasn't. My biggest trigger is being around other smokers. Nobody's perfect, dust off and restart.

[freeneasy]

I stopped drinking 11/2 years ago and I know I could not have stopped smoking if I still drank. What's done is done. Chalk it up to experience and try not to beat yourself up.

[freeneasy]

P.S you are not the 1st to ever loose a quit and you won't be the last. Keep posting you have lot's to share!

[Chris265]

Back on the horse lady ….You have provided a tremendous amount of support and encouragement for others.  So now do the same for yourself.  You are so worth it.

[ret]

I am so sorry Renee.  Just get back on your quit right away.  You are still better off than I am because I waited so long before I even had sense enough to quit and I am quite sure you are younger than me. I have moderate COPD, don't let this happen to you.  You are still my quit buddy.  You can do this.

RET 38 days.

[Michwoman]

Renee - Please know that we all "get it". We will not beat you up and you shouldn't do that to yourself either. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. Learn from it. If someone leaves smokes - you drown them. Do not "save" them for the owner. Too bad so sad.

Girl - You just let this go and start again. I do think that resetting your clock is the right thing to do.

We all F*** up sometime or another. It doesn't mean we need to continue on that path.

[Michwoman]

By the way - Kudos to you for your honesty lady!!!

[Nyima_1.6.13]

I feel so bad for you Renee! I know you are kicking yourself in the ars, so I won't stomp you when you're down! You dust yourself off, reset your clock (and your thinking) and get back on the horse! We don't love you any less 😉 

[anniexhx]

so sorry huni but you can just start again no worries you can do this girl x

[Michwoman]

[joyeuxencore]

So sorry Renee...WOW...Nothing changes about the fact that you have worked hard on your quit with all the unwavering support of others...This time concentrate on YOUR QUIT...You only smoked one and came back???!!! BIG DEAL. Some do that and we never even HEAR from them again. You are already a beloved member of this community so kudos to you...alcohol is THE quit killer...BRAVO sweet for your honesty! xo

[ShawnP]

So sorry Renee. It does happen but its a new day, restart and learn from this experience. Always be prepared in case Nickodemon is somewhere lurking.

[joyeuxencore]

Two days ago you were tired and angry...also warning signs...

http://treatmentandrecoverysystems.com/library/articles/halt-ing-relapse-before-it-starts/

[joyeuxencore]

P.S. You LIVE with a smoker who smokes in front of you all the time. Your resolve has been SO strong and inspiring Renee...xo

[flaroyale]

I commend you for your honesty and accepting that we are all human, and just start over. You could have very well just never said anything, or even kept smoking but you didn't.

You are a great example of someone who wants to quit, who accepts that they are not perfect, and comes an ask for help instead of running away. I do not plan to start smoking again, but if I do I hope I am as brave as you have been. 

[ret]

Ditto to the words of flaroyale

[Icandothis8]

You admitted it, you felt the suffering from it, and now you can begin again - that is the beauty of this site - admitting and moving forward with your quit - tomorrow is day 1 but you can do this!

Thank you for your honesty because it would have been easier to not revisit and admit your smoking - that in itself takes an amazing amount of strength.  Peace

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

I do hate reading these kind of blogs. I know you're hurting now because of it. But it sounds like a contious decision was made...I mean you said you hid to smoke it. Anyway I'm gonna stop there. Like Dale says alcohol loosens inhibitions & makes for bad decisions. I gave up Coke, coffee & alcohol for that first year because when I did any of those I had to have a smoke, Doing without served me well.

So you know the drill. You know the things you must do to be successfull at this quitting thing. This is just a little bump on the trail so keep on keepin on.

M n @

[mary242]

The character of a person is what they will do when no one is looking. Well, you, little sweetheart are busting with character and class. You always lift people up and cheer them on and thats what youre going to get now that you are the one in need!! I know you will quit, we all make mistakes, just as long as you learn something from it. Stay strong and take good care. We all still love you no matter what! Thanks for trusting us with your news.Always a friend....Mary

[Strudel]

Let's get right back at this! And - as mentioned above - no drinking for a while - would be my suggestion. 

[cory-3-10-13]

I'm sorry Renee. I'm here for you. Glad you posted, keep blogging. 🙂

[Sootie]

"If only the song birds sang, the forest would be a quiet place."

If only those who "know it all" posted on here for support....the place would be pretty dead!!!!! You keep posting...we need to hear all voices here and you now have a valuable (but hard) lesson learned.

[lvs2rock]

Girlie? You were honest, to yourself first and your EX family. I agree...get back to your quit and do not beat yourself up! If it were me? I would avoid alcohol until much stronger! I just picked up 2 packs of wine coolers that I will be saving for a time down the road. Something was perhaps bothering you already? Just a thought. Hugs dear; this will bring you even more wisdom to share! I still look to you as a winner!

[james41]

My quit right before the one that 'TooK' was over a couple beers and my cousins menthols laying on the table! Then I set a date and told myself I was gonna do it and here I am almost 4 years later Nicotine free!!! You will do it!!

[Riverdance]

Hi there, ditto to everyone else's comments.  You are an honest, courageous soul.  Twice I took a smoking cessation class, quit and then relapsed after a few days and then stopped attending the class.  I truly believed that I couldn't get back on track, so why bother?  Think I was lost in being mad at myself.

I changed my Quit Clock:  here's how I did it.  Go to the tab My Quit Plan.  On the right you will see your original quit date.  To the right of that click on "Change".  The next window to come up you'll see the calendar if you scroll down a bit.  Then just click on the date you want.

xoxoxo

[francis2013]

Just as you did with me when I slipped. I still consider you to be my friend and one of my support people here on this website. I will always value your opinion and what you suggest to me. If I may please say this without trying to offend you but how about staying away from the bar for a long time. Speaking for myself I find it easier if I drink my beer at home outside in the garage providing that it is not to windy. Where I live smoking is not allowed inside any building and I now take that to my advantage and I sit furthest away from the door so that I don't smell the cigarette smoke from the people coming back in from smoking outside. Most of the people at the VFW where I go to have 2-4 beers know that I am in the process of quitting and most of them do give me positive support but there are others who still persist on giving me their drinking and smoking bit but I ask them nicely to not do that to me out of respect. I have also told them that I would not do that kind of thing if they were in my shoes. Please do not be to hard on yourself but please think about where you went wrong and try your best to avoid that kind of situation in the future.

[scubavernie]

Renee, keep it up girl, you have been an inspiration to me all along. If you had let your addiction win you would have slipped away quietly and we would not have heard from you again. You are here, and now, and you are already winning again. Keep on going you CAN do this. 

[motherlovebone]

You can still do this!!!  I love all these supportive comments here...read them and take them to heart.  Then read them again.  You may have lost this battle, but you can still win the war, ya know?  I'm so glad you're still here...keep posting, keep encouraging, keep helping...but help yourself FIRST, yeah?  xo~mlb

[wishingstar]

You all wonderful . big hugs and thanks.