Description
I have smoked for a little over 2/3 of my life. I equate smoking with living! It is so over-determined, attached to so many emotions, actions, thoughts. I have so much insight into this addiction, yet the doing of quitting still somewhat eludes me. I feel quilty about being a negartive role model and how smelly and dirty this nasty (but still enjoyable) habit is. I have been blessed with excellent health up until 1-2 yrs. ago. I was finally acurately diagnosed with LUL lung cancer, STAGE III-B. My response to treatment has been amazing according to the professionals. My recent PET scan showed that my tumor which had grown to the size of an orange is now the size of a pea and may be an x-ray shadow or scarring or of course cancer. Despite its original size, it has been confimed that it has not spread even locally. I fear the righteious and judgemental who might say I deserve my cancer and it is true that I enjoyed every cigarette I ever smoked. I also cn't say that I regret being a smoker for I cannot change the past. I have realized that I am truly a drug addict with all the addict's thinking when it comes to nicotine in the form of cigarettes. I know I am never alone, so I hope someone out there can share with me from their own perhaps similar experience. Thank you
Brief Description
I just started my actions today and have been successful in postponing some cigarettes and breaking automatic cigarette smoking habits
Website
No website in profile.
Location
i live in a new state and town of about 30, 000 people. it would not be my first choice, but it is economically viable to live here
Interests
reading, talking about ideas, relationships, books, philosophies; crossword, eye/hand coordination puzzles; artisan fairs, vermont as a favorite state. i used to be a gym rat but my illness has given me pause. i also enjoy crafts, but am not very good at them
Skills
empathic listening; writing; getting along well with others though maintaining independent work and play behavior
