lol im afraid i might be addicted to the nic gum i have big red on standby i only have 6 pieces of nic gum. because me being an ex smoker happens officially on dec 9. and ill be done with nic gum, i only chew the nic gum 2 times a day. today is 71 days of being smoke free. lovely i suppose. im treating quitting smoking like an a alchohalic.. youre never done quitting. never aloud to use wine for cooking. atleast i passed thhe being around smokers test. they reek of a nasty old ashtray and my hallways smell of old cigars. i can wait for it to be after jan 1st. thats when i get my apt, repainted
nd now all i need to focus on is loosing the weight i gained from quitting smoking. it isnt just the quitting smoking part, my little sister is in the psychward,and she was saying her being in there was my moms doing. and i corrected her and told her it was her doing. and that mom didnt put the morphine patch on that crashed her car, and justin didnt maker her put it on. and mom didnt make you pass out in the car keys in the ignition kids in the back seat. she just loves throwing the blame on other people. and ever since i was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis all she can say to me is i just sit here and have no life....
i dont know she bring that up everytime shes mad at me. atleast i know better, she isnt my little sister when she gets this way it her addiction talking. and you know what she said? she cant wait to smoke a cig. not that she misses her boys. geez i messed up big i totaled moms car. she just wants a smoke. and its moms fault that shes in there. mom told child protective services my little siter threatened to take own life and her kids lives. if my mom wasnt going to do it i was going to, or my step dad was.
so im a nervous eater, always have been. and dammit why not? i quit smoking cigs, and medical mariuana, i stopped drinking, doing bad drugs like meth coke crank, acid, the only drug i never did was heroin or extasy...
damn im lucky to be alive i have been in car wrecks sober of course i saw a psychic who told me my dead father saved me when i wrapped my car around a tree.
i grew up when my dad died..i wonder why my brother and sister traded places with me.
