“smoking is part of who i am”

[rilokitty]

Why can’t I get that out of my head? 10 days in nicotine free feels like a good start, but then it feels like nothing and I think, “who am I kidding? I can’t do this. Smoking is part of who I am.” But I haven’t smoked. Not today. But those thoughts are haunting me. “Smoking is part of your identity.” 

[Maki]

We weren't born addicts or born smokers , we made smoking all by ourselves our identity ,  you can change that . We chose to smoke , we can choose to quit . 

You are young in your quit , addiction will try to sway your thinking , just keep headed in the right direction >>>>>>>>> one day at a time . 

     Congrats on double digits 

        10 days is. 

[rilokitty]

Thanks Maki

[YoungAtHeart]

Of COURSE you can do this...you ARE doing this!  And doing it very well, I might add!

Your emotions are talking - maybe try to think about smoking a little differently.  You NEED a paper tubed filled with dried leaves, laced with who knows what chemicals and an extra dose of an addiction causing drug called nicotine, which is slowly taking your breath, your gums, your circulation, your time, your money, your lovely young skin, your interactions with others, experiences that won't wait for you to get your fix.............something that does nothing FOR you and so much to you.

NOPE!  I am a valuable, talented, lovely young woman and I deserve to be FREE!

[rilokitty]

You’re right, I am doing it, simple as that. I just have to keep doing it each day and not get caught up in my thoughts or “romancing” it

[sweetplt]

Ah hah rilokitty you just had a thought and it is an important one...

. Smoking is part of who I am.

It was part, actually a big part of what we did in our life, but really it isn’t who we are, as addicts we just believed it...you are 10 days quit...which is super...however, early in this quit, it is all about staying quit and not letting Nico lure us back to smoking...then somewhere we start realizing so much more about this addiction.  We spend out life crying, we smoked, laughing, we smoked, problems, we smoked, someone died, we smoked, we are on the phone, we smoked, we cleaned and reward we smoked, etc., I could go on for hours, but you go the picture hon...what is happening, you are feeling emotions and you don’t know what to do with them, because you can’t smoke through them...you have to feel them...or feel through them...don’t put a lot on yourself...just know that each thing you smoked through, for example talking on the phone, early in the quit we may not be able to to talk on the phone and/or we may have to color in a coloring book while we talk on the phone, etc., you see...it is retraining us and our life...don’t get overwhelmed take it “one thing at a time”...it takes time, but eventually a fog will lift and you will find out you my dear women are so much more then the smokes...be good to you...and take care of you right now...you are healing body, mind and soul from all these chemicals you put in you...keep close...Gotcha you close...because I remember feeling the same as you...Colleen 688 DOF 

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Our heads are the most difficult part of the quit. Keep it simple & just take it a day/hour/minute/second at a time, however you need to do it. Don't overwhelm yourself thinking about next week or even tomorrow. We all have the strength to do this we just need the willingness to change & become the person we didn't know we wanted to be.

[rilokitty]

thank you Colleen!!

[rilokitty]

thanks Mike. Willingness.

[Christine13]

that was your former identity!!  Now no more.  I think now you should feel "special" because you are putting it behind you!!

[maryfreecig]

I had thoughts like that too. That was over seven years ago now. Not smoking may feel weird, but eventually it becomes normal--ur--because it is. 

You expressed this gnawing problem perfectly. So many at Ex know what your saying. One day at a time, yes you can.

[rilokitty]

So now is my special identity? I wonder what kinds of things my special identity does    I better figure it out! Thank you : ) 

[rilokitty]

Yes, I need to focus on one day at a time, and not big abstract ideas like identities, keep it simple, don’t put the stick in my mouth. There. Gosh it feels like it’s been so much longer than 10 days though. Bah. I want to keep this quit for me. I really want to keep it. 

[Ladybug--7-3-12]

Ban negativity from your self-talk.  Kick it out of your thoughts immediately each & every time.  Replace it with something else ... like a positive mantra or two.  Don’t let smoking thoughts swirl around in your head.  Get up & do something physical instead helped me in the early days.  Keep putting one foot in front of you & let smoke free time pass.  It gets better.

[CrazyQuitter]

I really don't like this sort of thinking. But remember this it's only early days and your mind is in the mind of a smoker's. But The cravings and reasons to smoke won't last forever. They go away when things start to feel right!

Please stay on track and keep us posted as to what strategies you have in place to protect your quit. Maybe when you think of lighting up just tweak it and say "I am a non smoker. I am free from this addiction. I am in control of my own self. I am looking after myself. "

[SMILINACCOUNTNT]

I used to think the same thing, but when I was ready to quit this time I started to think of it as a part of myself I didn't really like. I don't like the part of me who has to sneak out for a smoke every hour or two. I don't like feeling self conscious if I stink really bad. You get the idea! Congrats on 10 days! 

[redpepper]

That's beautiful. 

Cigarettes are ugly. 

Thank you for your post, Sweetplt

[redpepper]

I have to say this to you as I am really saying to myself: YOU CAN DO THIS! I dont want to be that ugly, stinky, closeted -because-it-stopped being-cool-a-long-long- time-ago woman a-n-y-m-o-r-e! Dear Self: You rock! 

[Giulia]

You quit 10 days ago.  Smoking is a part of who you were, not who you are.  I know, that's a really facile answer, sorry, but it's true.  If you choose to put a cigarette in your mouth, then smoking will once again be a part of who you are.  More than a part of who you are, it will be that which you need to do all the time.  And that which you'll always hope to get away from.  And that is torment.  And it will haunt you.  But once you've quit and made up your mind "no matter what" there is no more haunting. 

As a smoker I thought the same way you do.  "Smoking is part of who I am."  And you're right.  It WAS a part of me.  It was something I did every single day of my life ALL day long.  Just about ever half hour.  Except when sleeping.  It might as well have been an appendage.  Like my pocketbook -  I took it everywhere I went. And I set up my abode to accommodate it.  Ashtrays in each room.  My life was infused with it.

The thing you discover (and it takes a certain amount of quit time) is that it's okay to lose that part of yourself.   Actually I didn't lose it, that was just the way I WAS - then.  Smokeless is the way I am now.  I am the combination of who I was and who I am now and how I will be in the future me.  Who we are changes on our journeys through life.  So don't worry that you'll lose yourself or your enjoyment of all those moments you had with a cigarette in your hand.  You'll find the same enjoyment, just without the prop.  If part of your identity is based on your relationship with a wadded up piece of tobacco, then it's a good thing to do what you're doing right here. Thinking about it.  Expressing it.  Wondering about it.  

Ten days is a good start.  Who are you kidding?  Nobody.  Seems to me you have a pretty good handle on your journey.  Especially because you've written this blog and are questioning yourself.  So don't kid yourself.

What do you want?  Most?  To hang on to the 10 days until they become 20?  Or to revert the "old you" and give in to the easy way out?  That's the question you need to ask yourself every day.  

Cheers on your 10 days.  It's quite an accomplishment.

[redpepper]

Tell it!! Wow! That helps me, too. Thanks! Awesome post! 

[Giulia]

Thanks.  We never know how something is gonna hit somebody.  Glad to know it hit you in the right way.

[RoseH]

Experts say that if we knew how a negative thought truly affected us, we would never think another such thought!

If you want to quit smoking, then you have to believe you can...  and...  Take steps to make it a reality!  It takes hard work, sometimes, to reach your goal...  Click on the link below to learn why “Attitude” is literally “Everything”!

                                      https://www.success.com/why-your-attitude-is-everything/ 

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Be proud of yourself. Ten days of freedom is awesome. Most who come here don't make it through the day.

[indingrl]

Hey Mike good to read ya

[Barbscloud]

Keep reminding yourself "I don't do that anymore".  That really helped me early in my quit.  Congrats on 10 days--you can do this one day at a time.

Barb

[Giulia]

Good stuff!  Thanks for that link.

"Your mind is a computer that can be programmed. You can choose whether the software installed is productive or unproductive. Your inner dialogue is the software that programs your attitude....You have control over the programming. Whatever you put into it is reflected in what comes out."

[jrgar1]

   Our most wonderful human powers of choice and willingness to do something (quit smoking) or not do something (use our drug) are essential for us to find our true quit. We are non smokers. We do not smoke!  Our addiction tells us we can't quit. We say, "ok we won't."  Our successful path to recovery and final quit begins one day at a time using these awesome powers to quit, not use, and stay quit. Not only to stop using our drug but accomplishing many things we thought impossible. Find your own path in the Three A's.. Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. Awareness that something needs changed, (all the reasons to stop using). Acceptance of our addiction or problem and our inability to control it's power over us. Action, however we are motivated to action, seeking possible solutions to resolve our desired intention. You are a non smoker, you do not smoke!  Never Quit Quitting!  N.O.P.E. O.D.A.T.

   Peace to all,

     JRGAR

[rilokitty]

It really did stop being cool SO LONG ago hahaha I remember 16, what was I thinking?

[rilokitty]

Thank you and. Ladybug, what’s a positive mantra go-to for you? I tend to ruminate on and mull over the negative. I don’t know why! -Jamie

[rilokitty]

I wonder what that’ll feel like when things start to feel right! I don’t want smoker’s thoughts. I’ve made an oath to stick around until my thoughts do start to feel right and see what it’s like. : ) thank you - Jamie

[rilokitty]

I can’t thank you enough for your thoughtful and insightful comment. Wow. Thank you so much. Preeeaacch! : ) thank you again -Jamie 

[rilokitty]

Thank you, “I don’t do that anymore,” “That’s not for you anymore,” this is a new time, living the rest of my life alive. thank you again -Jamie

[rilokitty]

You are so right, how can I forget such important basics, I’m just tendencied to ruminate and mull! So pointless! Like sitting in mud sliding backwards on purpose! Why would I want that! I printed out that web page and another one linked to it. There are keys here. I need to collect them all. 

[Giulia]

Just speaking my truth to you, Jamie, based upon my own experience.  We each find our own truths along the smoke-free path.  And sometimes they overlap.

[SuzyQ411]

Hit me right on as well Giulia‌..THANKS!

[SuzyQ411]

Bookmarked that link RoseH‌ !! Thanks for a  most helpful post 🙂