really bad day that I failed

[angel63]

Yesstersay had to be the worst day in a very, very long time and it came out of nowhere! my elderly mom got into a car accident and even though she is okay i think this is going to envolve lawyers and stuff.

when that went bad it brought on all the other issue I have been trying to ignore. A tuff high pressue job, my husband not working, my daughter getting older and worst of all a reminder that my mom is getting older and I am the only one resposible for her.

I caved and hard too. I smoked and drank. Then I got sick.

However today is a new day and I am not smoking AND I am trying to come up w/ a plan that will help me when the world gose to hell in a handbasket on short notice! anyone have any good ideas on coping when stuff gets REALLY bad?

[lynette9]

My dearest Brenda,

I'm so sorry for all your issues causing you such stress. It IS stressful to be the one who cares for an elderly parent. I know how that feels, too. And while I cannot identify with having a 12 yr old daughter as I only had sons,any child at that age is a challenge.

Now, as far as your mother being in the car accident, find an attorney. There are many who help with elderly issues so find one perhaps in the gerentology area who can also help with taking her keys away. She can't drive anymore, that's for certain.

So you smoked. And drank. And got ill. So how does this help anything, is my question, honey. How does this help you??

We are here on this site to support you in your quit. We ALL have issues crop up that change our lives and alter our resolve as stress is a big factor in that. But Brenda, whether you smoke or not these are LIFE issues that will always be there. And smoking is NOT helpful. TO YOU.

How can we help you if you don't come here first to post that you are having trouble? All we can do is try to help you start a new plan, right?

So here goes: go back to www.whyquit.com and www.quitsmokingonline.com. Get your personal notebook out and take NOTES. Do your HOMEWORK.

Go to Strudel or Maggie's pages and download Alan Carr's book Quit Smoking the Easy Way. And again, TAKE NOTES.

Get a quit kit ready. Make your plans as to what you will do when urges and craves hit. Set a new quit date, if you have to.

We will be here, honey. Honest. We want you to succeed.

And I'm sure there will be many after me who will offer up their prayers for you, your mom, and your entire family.

I know I am.....

[Dakota_Posse]

Hi Brenda!!!  Yep, Lynette knows her stuff and she is right...get your "plan" together and handle your life problems, one at a time, and WITHOUT a cigarette 'cause they do not make the life problems any better.   I most certainly will send good thoughts and prayers your way while you deal with your Mom, and your other stress.  Deep breathes and one step at a time....we are here and always will be!!!  Cindy

[triomommy27]

Remember your body will be going through withdrawals the next few days. I'm sorry about your mom. HUGS!

[va72lady]

Yes angel I have something to share with you that will help.   After two weeks smoke free I lost my dog, he jumped out of the car while I stopped at a store and I was not paying attention.    Needless to say I ran do not walk to the nearest store and bought a pack.   I smoked a couple then tore them up.   Bad move because it weakened my resolve for future upsets.   So I played with the nicotine demon occasionally.   But never went back to them fully.  When bad things happen, get away, take a long walk, breathe deeply while talking sense to yourself..  Give yourself a treat something that you like besides tobacco.  Main thing is to get away from everyone and everything just for 10min if that is all you can get away...I wish you the best in the future.   Above all do not concentrate on your  cave in...   Concentrate on the days you were sucessful...  /Shirley

[va72lady]

btw...Thank God for the spca I got my dog back through them.   Shirley

[Breakinchains]

N.O.P.E.

[sarah123]

I"m sorry that you are going through all this. I too wish there was a way to make the world stop and only do what we want it to when we are in our quit, but i guess sooner or later that would end anyway and we would have to deal with it without smoking. There have been several good suggestions. The best thing is find something that helps you. I know that differnt people have differnt things that help them, but I don't think mine would help anyone else. I Have one that would deep breathing.... can u take just one more clean  breath? and then just one more? The one that actually gets me through though is that nothing fixes it.

HEre is my attempt at explaining that: NOthing fixes the crave to smoke except smoking itself. I don't want to smoke and I don't need to smoke. I can deal with all things without smoking, because it smoking doesn't fix anything either. I still crave smoking at times, but since i have no desire to smoke, it is a crave that you just don't fix. Somethings are just fine the way they are and just simply don't fix them. NOw its ok to crave to smoke, just not to smoke, so just leave the crave as it is and appreciate it reminding you that you don't want to smoke.

Did you follow that?

[Strudel]

For me, realizing before I quit that smoking did not equal stress relief solved that issue. It was a matter of changing my mind set about all of the BS surroudning what we THINK smoking does for us. Reading did that - http://quitsmokingonline.com/ and Allen Carr's book -- http://joga.365.lt/Allen-Carr_Easy-Way-To-Stop-Smoking_Download-free-PDF-EBook

Both of those helped me to understand that smoking wasn't going to change a darn thing about a tough situation. I had to keep reminding myself of that...but - it worked!

You can do this!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Eat a lemon. A big honkin bite, skin and all!

and don't tell me it doesn't stop a crave until you've tried it!