OMG let me tell yall the hell that I've been going thru since my last blog.
I was feeling sick again last Thursday.. the doctor gave me Symbicort (red puffer). I have literally been in bed since, extremely sick with A HIGH FEVER, CHILLS, SHAKES, HEADACES, COUGHING, WHEEZING, CHEST CONGESTION, COULD NOT BREATH, ACHES AND PAINS in my body.
This was straight for 3 days!. I was only able to take the puffer for 2 days due to the side effects that i got from it, SERIOUS HEADACES, HIGH FEVER, RIGHT NOSTRILL SWOLLEN, AND FEVER BLISTER on the side of my lip, which i am still nursing (ive never had one before, and hope it is not re-ocurring). I Was not able to eat, and it took me forever to fall asleep nightly cause of the severity of the headaces.
I literally thought i was going to die, i was crying non stop from the extremely high fever and pain in my body, I swear i could feel every pain ,every ache, every tingle, i could feel my body repairing from my head to my toes, and it was healing fast. I was having suicidal thoughts, i literally planned my death in my head, (this could have been a side-effect from symbicort or from the smokers flu withdrawls. It was so scary, i have never experienced anythig like this before.
By Sunday, i was feeling a litttle better, but still very weak, everytime i coughed, i got a serious headace, and the fever has stayed with me lightly. There has been dry and not so dry blood in my nose.I have still been in bed and i am now finally able to get onto my computer while i lay here in bed. So currently right now my fever is light, i am sweating like a pig at nights, my coughing is still going strong, alot more phelm is coming out and it is still yellowish in colour, i get coughing fits which leaves my chest tight and i feel like i cant breath, i had a panic attack early this morning due to not being able to breath.. and i can feel another headace creeping up.. this is all very scary and new to me.
I keep thinking there must be somthing else wrong with me that will explain what i am going thru, but there isnt, this is the quitters flu, withdrawl symptoms that i am still feeling, its has been 3 weeks now since i have been sick, the pains in my body are gone, but come now and than, like this moring i had serious stomach cramps. and oh yea my chest xtrays are clear, there is nothing wrong with my lungs.
It is incredible to me that this is all from smoking, its like getting off crack with the shakes that you see in the movies, i feel i should have been in re-hab. i actually read the other day that nicotine withdrawl is worst than heroin, crack, cocaine, and morphine.!!
IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT I WOULD BE GOING THRU, I NEVER WOULD HAVE QUIT AND CONTINUED MY LIFE HAS A HAPPY SMOKER AND TAKE MY CHANCES. AND BECAUSE I HAVE GONE THRU THIS AND STILL GOING THRU THIS HELL I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER SMOKE AGAIN!!!!
this has been a crazy and shocking experince for me, i know we all go thru it differrenly and for some of you this has not happened, but this was my experince and its sucks, im super fustrated now, and pissed off ... i havent been able to do anything, and i still cant, i am just tooo weak!.. SIGH*
so nooooo i have not re-lapsed if some of yall were thinking that, i have been dying, i still have NO cravings and NO thoughts of smoking. it is OVER FOR ME. I HAVE NO INTEREST AT ALL. i was watching some construciton guys smoking out my window this morning and i felt nothing, I actually felt bad for them. its hard to believe that i ever was a smoker now, i never realized how bad the damage was until now from what ive been going thru. I also read the other day that there like 500-700 chemicals in cigs that kills us!.woaaaah! I hope to feel better soon, and hope to never go thru this again EVER. thank you all for your comments and support and will update you on my progress. day 15 (7) -smoke free
