kcharrisqos Archived Profile

[kcharrisqos]

Description

Sup, peeps?!  Hmmm.  Can a 36 year-old dude actually ask that without seeming ridiculous?  Probably not.  Eh, screw it!

Anyway, my name's Kris but I prefer KC.  As I mentioned above, I'm a 36 year-old and I'm a (once proud) smoker of approximately 18 years.  I've done the "I'm gonna quit cold turkey" thing more times that I have fingers and toes.  Never stuck.  Always found a new excuse to start using again.  I tried the patches, which caused a dermatological reaction.  Then, I tried Chantix, which landed my butt in the hospital with an irregular heartbeat.  Good times.  Why isn't that rare side effect listed on the package?  Can you believe those bastards made me get a heart cath?  Ever had your groin shaved by a nervous nursing student?  Not fun, folks, not fun. 

Despite my passive aggressive love affair with the gym, I learned that I had high cholesterol in '08.  Doc told me to use exercise, red yeast rice, diet adjustment, and fish oil to bring the levels down.  Didn't work.  So, I was forced to start taking medication (Pravastatin) earlier this year.  So far, my cholesterol's normal.  *knocking on many wooden things*  Unfortunately, life has a way of enacting counterbalance.

I lost my job in July '09.  Then the anxiety/panic disorder revealed itself.  Beautiful.  Show of hands.  Who here has had an anxiety/panic attack?  *counting*  That's what I thought.  They are about as much fun as a colonoscopy, minus the cool-as-hell sedation.  So, The Doc put me on meds to help TRY and keep the attacks from happening.  They worked!  And by worked I mean they kept me in a zombie-like state for over a month.  Sure, I got plenty of rest.  Awesome, right?  But I spent my very few waking hours trying to stay alert enough to eat without choking, and smoking.  Irony:  I still didn't dig Pink Floyd's music. 

After The Hub demanded that The Doc adjust my crazy pills, I began to exit the fog.  But I wasn't the person I was.  The anxiety remained.  Anxiety over putting The Mom in a nursing home months earlier.  Anxiety over being unemployed.  Anxiety over money and the bills that were going unpaid.  It was Fun With Anxiety 24/7 and smoking was no longer helping to calm me down.  In fact, cigarettes were starting to cause anxiety/panic attacks.  "I can feel the cancer growing within me at every puff."  See, I was all jacked up.  To a degree, still am. 

Over the course of the last few months...  I've developed a fear of dying from a heart attack and/or stroke, as my family's medical history is full of cardiac issues, and The Mom had three strokes before the age of 67.  There are days when the thought of going outside of our home alone is terrifying to me - I don't know if something will set-off an anxiety/panic attack and I'll have a stroke and die alone, or if I'll hurt someone else.  Worse yet...  I'm scared as f**k that I'll have a stroke and end up disabled, unable to function independently.  I can't watch TV shows that center on medical shit - they've been known to bring on anxiety/panic attacks, or fits, as I like to call 'em.  I have constant chest pressure due to some skeletal distress with my rib cage, but I always convince myself that I'm on the verge of a heart attack.  Any type of headache or sinus problem or twinge above my neck...  I'M GOING INTO A STROKE!!!  I'M GOING TO DIE!!!  I'm just a big, shiny ball of happy. 

As a result of all my anxiety and the medications that are required to keep me from launching myself into the stratosphere like a rocket, I've developed colorectal paralysis - constipation.  *sigh*  Fortunately, my, um, movements are returning to normal with the help of pro-biotics, plenty of water and a high fiber diet.  Still, I'm not 100% but I'm getting there.  Another negative result to all this anxiety/panic BS I'm putting myself through is:  High Blood Pressure.  Combine that with my medically treated high cholesterol...  Time bomb!  Remember all that stuff our parents would say about enjoying the best years of of our young life?  Yeah, they weren't kidding.  The adult mind and body is a nasty foe. 

So, it's now 2010.  I didn't make any solid resloutions.  But I'm desperate to honor The Hub's heartfelt request for me to quit smoking.  I'm determined to make it happen for the both of us.  I feel I'm ready.  In addition, I'll be redevoting myself to physical fitness and better dietary choices, and I'm meeting with each one of my doctors to help me to get my body back under MY control.  Oh, and I'm gonna start seeing a shrink about all that anxiety and panic crap.  Who needs that?  Am I right?  Up top!  *hi-five*  Right on!

There you have it, my friends, some of the hardcore need-to-knows. 

Other muy importante stuff...  I'm a happily married Italian-Queer-American.  The Hub and I have two needy, clingy, spoiled-beyond-belief Bleagles (bloodhound/beagle mix) - Butch & Kong.  I'm a big fan of anything Superman, Ghost Rider, Pittsburgh Steelers, Chicago Bears, Chelsea Handler, Michael Thomas Ford, and Star Trek Voyager (Kate Mulgrew is a Goddess).  Annie Lennox and Robbie Williams are my King & Queen of the UK.  Better Off Ted has to be the funniest damn show on TV.  Smokey & The Bandit is THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!  I have an official blogsite where I'm known by a nickname that a bud gave me a few years ago - Queer of Steel.  I like to cuss and talk about sex A LOT (I'll keep that to a minimum on here).  And I think Mountain Dew should be named The Official Drink Of The World.

I think that's it for now.  Wish me luck, folks. 

Ride strong,

KC

Brief Description

Happily Married Queer-Italian-American Looking To Kick The Butts For Good!

Website

WWW.QUEEROFSTEEL.COM

Location

Michigan

Interests

the usual stuff., sex...  You know, Reading, Cussin', Blogging, Ghost Rider, Superman, Star Trek Voyager, Comic books

Skills

MySpace & Facebook status., and updating my Twitter, Having an anxiety/panic attack without command, retail management, Certified STI Educator & Facilitator, Certified HIV/AIDS Tester & Counselor