i belong

[paulstope]

i am very  cautious when it comes to the computer.  Therefore when i  started on this site, I used my regular

internet alias:  Paul Stope.  My name is Pam and I am 50 years old.  I have smoked since the age of 19 and

have been very stupid for a very long time.  This is going to be very hard; I have many painful diseases and 

smoking definitely helps with pain.  now thanks to me my final disease will be something caused by my 

smoking.  I have to say Thank You to all who sent wishes and love and I hope we can continue our life

conversation.  Right now, I am feeling vulnerable , hot,and i just saw an episode of frankie (bbc) that infuriated

me but i didn't smoke.  i wrote you instead.

[Giulia]

Nothing at all wrong with being cautious in cyberspace, Pam.  Fortuinately most of us are the good guys on this site.   Glad you wrote us instead of lighting up.  Smoking does not alleviate pain. That's a myth we've come to believe through our ignorance.  .  All smoking does is feed our addiction by alleviating the current craving.  And 15 minutes later we crave again.  Break the cycle, you break the addiction.  Keep witih it. 

[elvan]

Pam, I do not know what Frankie is or why it would infuriate you...BUT, I can tell you that i am 64 and I have smoked since I was 17.  When we stop smoking, we start to FEEL, to really feel, we used to be able to stuff our feelings down by smoking.  I, too, suffer from chronic pain.  I told myself for years that smoking helped with the pain.  ALL smoking does is to distract you from the pain, it releases dopamine.  There are ways to release dopamine that will not kill you, one is exercise, one is laughing, there are many, many more and I am sure that people here will help you to identify them.  Cigarettes do NOT contain pain medication and they do NOT make physical go away, they do not make emotional pain go away, all they do is to distract.  They lie to you and tell you that they are helping you and they are harming you with every puff.  I have COPD and I am so short of breath that it is embarrassing.  I exercise every day in spite of pain and shortness of breath, at least I feel like I am doing SOMETHING positive for myself.  I may die gasping for breath after all of those years of smoking BUT I am not going to make it go faster or be harder.  There are fewer and fewer places people can smoke these days and I, for one, got really tired of looking for them.

Feeling vulnerable is human.  ALL feelings are human, it is okay to allow them to surface, it is okay to cry, to get angry, to yell, to do everything we did not allow ourselves to do when we were smoking.  We are on a journey of self discovery and it is incredibly surprising to find out who we REALLY are.

Peace, my friend,

Ellen

[Jennifer-Quit]

So very glad Pam that you are still with us.  We are always here for you, don't forget that!

[gr8_start]

Happy to know you wrote to us and did not smoke. Have you also went to www.whyquit.com ? it is a very good resource with really good info!! You are stronger than you know!! Hang in there..

[Deena-A-Yenni]

When was your quit date??  I'm glad you wrote instead of smoking.  Good move.  Great start.  Jonescarp also has a very good read on his page.  I read it regularly.  One day I read it twice until the memories stopped hounding me and it worked.  Write me anytime.  I'm always available.  I'm not an elder by any means but I care about people who want to quit smoking.

[Carol5]

I am 130 days into my quit & I will tell you that I lash out, cry & become a total Bugger to live with at times. I do and I am sure my children (14&6) will agree. Please know that no matter our ages, we are infants in our quit & cigs only masked things.

Smoking clouded our issues, problems, pain, and bordum. The thing is, is now we have no blanket to hide under so we are vulnerable. It opens us up for new things & a new way of life. Don't be afraid of change, learn to embrace it 🙂 One thing change will NOT DO.....it will NOT KILL us 🙂 

We had given ourselves a death sentence the day we started smoking....we have regained our lives back now that we are quit or quitting. Never look back. Just keep pressing forward & know that tomorrow is only going to get better love. I promise you that.

YOU CAN DO THIS IF YOU ONLY BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!

Forever hugs to you and an ear to listen,

Carol

[Strudel]

Hi Pam! Giulia is right - we only THOUGHT smoking helped with pain or stress or anything else. It doesn't! Really! (The free course at www.quitsmokingonline.com explains all,of those lies!) 

I am very sorry about your health. I can imagine how difficult that makes everything. Smoking only makes it all much worse. And - no matter what - I don't think any of us know what will end our life. It is never too late to quit. I am 64 and I smoked for 40 years! But, I decided (at 59 when I quit) that I was going to focus on the quality of the days I have left.....I can't control the quantity. And - it has been SO worth it! Living life free of addiction is wonderful! 

This quote helped me - 

  “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

  Maria Robinson

[cheyenne7]

I was cautious too, and would only observe (for quite some time) before I actually joined in.....making that decision to become part of this community was one of the best decisions I could have ever made.....

Welcome......yes, you belong : )

Together we can be done with smoking.......and enjoy our lives much better!!

[nanawendy]

Pam, Welcome to our family.  We have all been where you are now, so we know what you are feeling.  Smoking does not help pain.. That is the addiction talking, and believe me it lies !!!  Stay close to the site and educate yourself on nicotine addiction. We are here to help you  I smoked for 40+ years and these wonderful people here helped me to be free

keep calm and carry on

Wendy

12/31/12

[MarilynH]

I'm on day 13 no cigarettes , it's been so difficult but am doing it. I'm trying to figure out how to use this site, I'm new to the internet I want to stay smoke free. I am 54 yrs old and been smoking steady since 16 started playing around with cigarettes at 14 we can all be ex smokers .Health is the most important thing we have . cigarettes are killing us I choose to hopefully add a few years to my life. 

[moody_9-18-13]

You're among friends here at EX. We are a good bunch, I think!