hello everyone

[erma2]

good morning.  i have not bloged in a while so i thoughtm i would today. today is my 120 day quit.4 months.  im almost out of no mans lands.my husband  haqs been gone now 3 weeks yesterday.it has been very hard on me.im trying not to withdraw from everthing but it is hard. but i know i needed for me to blog today and it feels good.yesterday was not a very good day for me i was very depressedso i called my paster and he prayed with me and i felt better. my problem is i have a lot of guilt at how things ended with jerry and i.  even though we loved each other very much there was a lot of problems.  and unfinished business. but any way im so proud of my 4 month quit .its a solid quit too. i dont think ill ever pick them up again or i would have done so already.  i have 1 friend where i live at and he told me the other day that im going through the fire. and really that is exactly how i feel.   and before i go i want to say a special thank you to niki nyima cyn and thomas  for encouraging me and never giving up on me.  and also the pictures are beautiful...thanks    and for the many new ones that have joined the site  that i dont know i will keep you all in my  prayers. just remember nope   not one puff ever......erma   god bless you all

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You have been through a big trial and learned firsthand that smoking doesn't help us get through anything. It was all a lie.

life will improve.

[wishingstar]

Hi Erma!!!  I'm Renee, Wow I admire you,  You are going trough a tragedy and have a long path in font of you. To lose your husband and not pick up a cig, you are stonger then you think. 

As to u fineshed business, I have a suggestion, Light a candel and tell him how you feel ,  I know he can hear you.  My God be with you during this hard time. My heart and prayers are with you. 

You are insperation and a role model in my eyes, you been through so much. 

hugs

[Nyima_1.6.13]

First and foremost a huge congrats on 120! You have done an absolutely phenomenal job keeping your quit safe during a very difficult time. I am so inspired by your strength!

Now, I want you to treat whatever thoughts of guilt that come into your head just like you did cravings. You didn't just learn to quit, you learned a very important life skill! You can control negative thoughts and make them diminish! Remember that just because you think it, that doesn't make it true! The voice that is making you feel bad about your relationship with Jerry needs to be quieted just like those cravings! It is so.. .clear to me that you are a women who gives her best to whatever is in your life! I am sure that was true in your marriage also. You must miss him terribly and I hope your heart mends soon! Know that you are loved by many and stay strong! This too shall pass. ((((Hugs))))

[cory-3-10-13]

God bless you, Erma. Congrats on 120 days!

[nanawendy]

Congratulations on your 120 days, Erma! You have endured  a great loss and maintained your quit!  I think having guilt is normal, we all would probably say  If I would have only done things different  would  he still be here? Erma keep moving forward and each day will get better  Sendind HUGS and prayers your way 

[Michwoman]

Very good to see you Erma. Congratulations on 120 days. Like everyone says here - you are strong and time will heal. I like Nyima's suggestion about the candle.

[Jenny78]

Congratulations on 120 days and protecting your quit during these trying times.  Bless you Erma.

[nikki77]

Erma, you are very strong. Thank you:) always in my prayers. Love nikki

[YoungAtHeart]

Erma,

It is so good to hear from you.  Wow - 120 days!  You ARE an inspiration to us all.  I also like the idea of lighting the candle and telling Jerry all that you wish to tell him.  You need to get that out and move forward now.  Looking backward has no useful purpose.

Congratulations on maintaining your hard earned quit through a terrible time.  I know you will be fine - you are a very strong woman!

Nancy

Quit 7/4/12

[Nyima_1.6.13]

The candle was Renee's suggestion but I like it too! This is also a time to write all your thoughts! The loss of someone dear is a great time to compile a non traditional scrapbook! Include the good, the bad and the ugly so to speak! Love ya' Erma!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

I'm so proud of you, Erma, for taking good care of yourself even when it's difficult! That shows that you are a strong Woman and I know you lean on the Lord to get you through each day! Be gentle with yourself, Erma! You are grieving which testifies to your Love for your Dear husband - believe me, nobody's relationships are perfect but with Love it's all good! Feel whatever you feel - you have to get through to get to the other side and soon, you'll be ready to move on! 

[mary242]

Erma, its good to see you on here. I know this is a hard time, but you will come out on the other side. God is with you every second and we are all here for you too. Stay strong and try to fill your heart with possitive and good thoughts. regret will only prolong the hurt. Always a friend, with love...Mary

[jojo_2-24-11]

Hi Erma, It's always good to see you. I hope you settle with your guilt and unfinish business. I look at some things in life as a test , I'd have to say you passed with flying colors. Congrats on 120 days!

[Strudel]

Erma - I am so glad to see you here....please take good care of yourself during this very difficult time! That was so smart to call your pastor - keep reaching out to others (like blogging here too - very smart). Congrats on your wonderful quit - great job of protecting it - no matter what! 

[erma2]

love to you all .thanks for lifting me up . god bless.   erma

[xenon]

Hello, Erma, my name is Marilynn, and I have been looking for you for about a week. I am so sorry to hear about your husband's passing.I was married for 21 yrs. and my husband died suddenly in his sleep 2 yrs ago April 15. He wasn't supposed to go, the Drs kept telling me he was getting better, but I think he was tired and didn't want to be here any more. Our marriage sure wasn't made in Heaven, but I was not wanting him to go yet. He was quite a bit older than I, and it was one of the hardest times of my life after he left. I was sooooMAD at him! How could he leave me? He didn't even have life insurance, he got mad at me and cancled the policy. When he died, my income dropped 80%. He knew this would happen to me.

   I see by some of your writting you and your Jerry had some issues too.I just want you to know that life and husbands can be really crappy sometimes. Keep your head up. You will be OK. If you get mad DO NOT feel guilty. You have a right to your feelings. Write me back if you want, I will not judge you for anything you might say.

   Marilynn