day 18

[ruralgrl]

once again my husband came home. He went  5 days not smoking and as soon aas he left he smoked. It is very hard for me knowing he is smoking even though he does not do it here. I am trying to calm a hissy fit within myself. I understand it is my quit but it sure is hard when your spouse is still doing it. I AM going to stay strong.... that is what i keep telling myself

[candu2]

Same thing happened with us.  Hubby put down the cigs for a week, then went back. 

When he coughs or has trouble breathing, I notice it a lot more now and it hurts me to see that. 

Every now and then I mention some way that I'm feeling better now without the cigs...I believe he is paying attention and hope he will try the quit again. 

Hopefully your hubby will notice how much better you feel day by day and he'll want to experience that too. 

Stay strong! Keep us posted...

56 days 1 hr 33 min

[Storm.3.1.14]

  Anyone here could get the sense that you’re jealous of your husband’s smoking. Like joining him and having cigarettes is what you really still desire. Like he’s enjoying a special treat, and you can’t have any of it. Or he’s being rewarded for doing nothing, and you’re not being rewarded for doing something important. Or that you’re envious that he can quit for 5 days before smoking again. (Isn’t that a great method of cutting back, after all? Isn’t that a better habit than a pack a day? 50% smoking, 50% quitting is easier than 100% quitting, right?)

  But, listen, I know that you do not want to feel these things. Your quit is very young, and you’re trying to find your way through these issues. You want to be here with us. That’s why you stay. That’s why you share. That’s why you’re talking about it.

  So, go back and read my first paragraph again. If I am just dead wrong about any of that, shake your head, waggle your finger at me, and know that I was trying to help. BUT, if I’m right about any of that, then think it through. HE is not on the same path right now. His choices are not the same as yours right now. His goals are not the same. His head is not in the same space. One day, hopefully, it will be. But, you can’t help him if you are not leading by example. So, search for your way out of this maze of false feelings, false logic, and find YOUR principle truths. Stick to THOSE and keep making YOUR choices.

[Barbara145]

People look at our actions much more than our words.  Focus on you.  Your quit depends on it!  You are doing great Ruralgirl!