Thank you all for the comments, yes i am still craving and still thinking about it alot, i just feel like giving up, im struggling with if i care enough about myself to stay quit. and i know if i start again i will hate myself (besides being embarassed) which will make me smoke double and start drinking again to ease the shame. at that point i would just be heading down a dangerous self destructive path. i read johnscarp blog about NML.. and yep thats exactly where i am.. 130 days?? really.. thats not til the beginning of august for me.. geezzz im gonna continue to feel like this throughout most of the summer #killme. i do have the alan carr book, i havnt read it in over a year, maybe i will again for mental support. and yes i have been only coming here and blogging once a month to check in because i swear the last couple of months i had this under control, i did not need support.i had no craves, i never thought or talked about smoking, these craves came out of no where, i am quite surprised by them, so i find myself here again , and reading and researching about it all over again. and yes there is no support in my environment anymore, there wasnt any from the start but i guess everyone figures im over it. so its just alot to deal with alone, i find myself constantly stressed about not smoking , and wanting to smoke to ease the stress. go figure huh... i have to make it thru this, this is my forever quit, but i cannot imagine feeling like this for any longer, this is extremely hard. it really is a constant daily battle. alot of work. who wants to deal with this. its so much easier just to smoke, this is where our strenght is tested. i need all the support i can get at this crucial time in my quit. congrats to all of you who has made it past NML.
