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Share your quitting journey

You CAN quit. And, yes, I am talking to you new folks who have just found this website. Stay. Read. Listen. And become one of us. Read my story:

SkyGirl
Member
30 34 593

I came to EX because I wanted to quit smoking.   Not for just a while.  FOREVER.  I wasn't sure I was ready.  I wasn't sure I had what it would take...  I wasn't even sure I WANTED to quit.  Because being a smoker was part of my identity; my life revolved around when I could smoke, where I could smoke, how many cigarettes I had left, where I could buy another pack...(I KNOW this sounds familiar to many of you!)

But I came to EX and I opened my mind...  I listened (even to the things I didn't want to hear...)

  
   I recognized that many of the people here had already achieved the exact thing that I wanted to achieve:    happily living a life without nicotine.
  
     
  
   So I read what they told me to read.  I read Allen Carr's book.     I did the Tracking and the Delaying exercises.  I went to the other sites that were recommended.  I was scared and not sure, but I DID all the things that all these successful EXers had to tell me...   And I set a date.  A Quit Date.  A day that I would do whatever it took to start living my life without being a slave to my nicotine addiction.
  
     
  
   I was a STUDENT and I learned how I could stop being a nicotine addict.  It wasn't easy.  But I spent a LOT of time here on EX and got to know people and accepted the support and friendship they were so happy to give to me. 
  
     
  
   It was like a lightbulb went on in my head on the day that I GOT it.  Poof! 
  
     
  
   I understood COMMITMENT instead of "trying", "attempting", "hoping". 
  
     
  
   I understood taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY instead of wishing for "luck", and blaming "stress", "weakness" or "being around smokers". 
  
     
  
   I understood seeing quitting as FREEDOM instead of seeing it as "sacrifice", "giving up", "suffering through" or "losing" something. 
  
     
  
   I understood that the feeling of so-called "enjoyment" and "need" was no more than my physical addiction calling out to me...and that I didn't have to listen to it! 
  
     
  
   When I quit, it wasn't "EASY".  Sorry, Allen Carr, it wasn't.  But I had a whole new way of thinking about it and that made it EASIER. 
  
     
  
   I've been here for a while now.  I have about three years of  freedom from nicotine.  I still can't belive it's been that long when I see it in writing.  But I have more than that.   I have the knowledge, the understanding, the thinking, the confidence and the TOOLS to know that I will never ever smoke again.  
  
     
  
   And I have all that because I LISTENED to the people here and I FOLLOWED their advice.   
  
     
  
   To all the new folks who have just joined us here:  Whether you stumbled in here by accident while browsing or if you researched carefully in order to find a great stop-smoking site...it doesn't matter.   
  
     
  
   Because    your addiction to nicotine is no stronger nor harder to beat than our addiction was.  You CAN quit.  If we could do it, so can YOU.   
  
     
  
   Leave all your assumptions at the door.  Be a student here on EX.  You won't ever regret it.  We promise 
  
     
  
   XXXOOO, Sky 
34 Comments
jimmypage
Member

I love this and think it would be a perfect introduction to this site for newcomers! Thanks Sky, you very eloquently put into words exactly how I feel about my quit and this site in general 😃

smorgy8513
Member

What can I say Nancy?  

You are amazing......Love what you write.....Love your honesty and Truth Speaking.....Love that you care....about yourself as well as others....

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Love (did I already say that?)

Sharon

Mike.n.Atlanta

"I understood COMMITMENT instead of "trying", "attempting", "hoping".

   
   I understood taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY instead of wishing for "luck", and blaming "stress", "weakness" or "being around smokers".
   

I understood seeing quitting as FREEDOM instead of seeing it as "sacrifice", "giving up", "suffering through" or "losing" something."

I love this Nancy. If only everyone would come to this point. Sadly only 6-7% will.

Keep on keepin on my friend,

OldBones-Larry

Thank you for the fantastic post!!! It sums things up extremely well.

bonniebee
Member

Sky I can't thank you enough for being here when I first quit I am so happy you are back online to help me and the newbies and the oldies too !

Great blog have a wonderful day Sky ! You were Missed !

LouiseR
Member

Excellent blog!

cpsono
Member

This is definitely going into my "favorites" file...Thank you, Thank you     CP

Giulia
Member

You oughtta fly more often if this is the kind of material you put out when you get back to us.  lol  Simply Splendid!

Strudel
Member

Fantastic blog! Wow! It shows why we miss you so much when you aren't around! Just perfect! 

Congrats again on THREE YEARS!!

TerrieQuit
Member

Hello, Sky! Perfect blog! When I came in, I too did exactly what this site reccomends and listened to the Elders, read the Carr book and that is what has brought me this far! and I am still a baby quitter! So I'll be listening and reading your blogs now that you are back! Thanks for a great post!

Terrie  85  DOF

SmokedOut041412

Right on Nancy! You couldn't of explained it more perfectly. We start here as students---Listening, studying, learning...and if we take it very seriously---We graduate! 🙂 FREEDOM is what it truly is!

Connie55
Member

Wow Nancy! You totally blew me away with this post. I cannot think of anything left unsaid. You always did and always will totally ROCK!  I am sending a link to your post to my mother who is still thinkign about quitting.

mellie3008
Member

your words inspired me. thanks

need-tostayquit

First night here. 4 am. Congratulations on 3 years and a month.

xsmokingmommy
Member

Still new to this site only been here going on two days, thank you for this blog it really pushes me for that FREEDOM as you say, I no longer want to be known as the family member who smokes anymore. I want to be known to be honest as the "strong one" I will be going through and reading your other blogs your quit the insperation thank you ! 

ladydav
Member
Thanks so much Sky for the inspiration my quit date is 12/1/2015.
wany
Member

Wow your words inspire me too....my date is this coming thursday, 12-3-2015.

That's the day I went back to my Island I was born and raised.....nice date to quit that nasty habbit 🙂

I will vist this site very often in the days/months to come....thanks

donzie
Member

i love this man, i feel this blog will differently give me the added boost of confidence that i need. he lets you know you are not alone. there is a place to come for help and incouragement. wiil be book marking this site. thanks!!!!!!!!!!

oh4joy.km
Member
This was great. Thank you for the inspiration. Exactly what I was hoping to find by joining this community. Quit date is 12/7/15.
indingrl
Member

Where are you flying now? Will you keep coming back in between flying or are you retired? Just wondering and CONGRATS ON THREE YEARS NICOTINE FREE SKYGRL YAHOOOOO YOUR A ACTION LIVING LOVING LIFESTYLE NON SMOKER ACTION SKYGRL! You go grl! 

elvan
Member

Miss you SkyGirl‌.

Giulia
Member

We all miss you!

Cricket
Member

Does that mean we only have a 6-7% chance at success?!   YIKES!  Well I for one PLAN on being in the minority!!  Cricket 36 DOF

Giulia
Member

Cricket‌  Don't let the stats scare you.  Here's a very long list of people on this site who are in that minority:  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/06/18/elders-list-ao-december-7-2016?sr=search&searchId=a388d5f0-b3d2-465a-b...‌  36 leads to 365 - one day at a time.  That's how we all did it.

Cricket
Member

Not scared!!  BUT, I am reading Allen Carr's book like a good girl!  Lol!

Cricket
Member

Took that bit of info and couldn't wait to do my homework!

Giulia
Member

It's a really good book.  It's a primer on how our attitude determines our journey.  Go back to it when the going gets tough.

Cricket
Member

Attatude adjustment:

I acually figured that one out on my own before I quit, in the preparation stage.  I have a application on my phone called smokefree.  (Love it)  Anyway I was using the app to count and reduce my smoking from 35 down to 10 before I quit.  What I discovered was if I would lie on that stupid app, as not counting All the cigs I smoked, I would NEVER quit!  I was lieing to myself before I quit, how was I going to be true to myself After I quit?!  I have to be honest enough with myself to protect me from myself!   I learned accountability!!  I quit within days of realizing that!  (Also I was only down to 20 -24 when I quit) I smoked 37 years and this is my 1st quit ever!!  I am not trying to quit smoking, I have already done that!  Now I am concentrating on keeping it.  The 6-7% ratio bounced off of today's challenges because both of my quitting buddies are smoking again. (And one of them smoked in my front yard today!)   I'm just digging in deeper to make sure I don't join them!!  

Cricket
Member

But still reading the book!!  I can use all the help I can get:)

Cricket
Member

I'm only on page 16 and already doing what he is telling me not to do.  I'm on the patch and lozenges...: (and I reduced before I quit!)

Oh well reading on....

1 FAILURE TO CARRY OUT INSTRUCTIONS Some people find it annoying that 1 am
so dogmatic about certain recommendations. For example, I will tell you not to try cutting down
or using substitutes like sweets, chewing gum, etc. (particularly anything containing nicotine).
The reason why I am so dogmatic is because I know my subject. I do not deny that there are many
people who have succeeded in stopping using such ruses, but they have succeeded in spite of, not
because of them. There are people who can make love standing on a hammock, but it is not the
easiest way. Everything I tell you has a purpose: to make it easy to stop and thereby ensure
success.

elvan
Member

I took some things away from that book that stuck with me, I did not read it until I had already quit.  I read blogs on this site...as many as I possibly could and I commented and asked questions and blogged myself.  I was a bit stunned to hear the 6-7% statistic but I figured that we can change that...ALL of us, we can make it much higher, there are fewer young people starting to smoke and that's a great step in the right direction.  I do not think that quitting is easy, it was not easy for me, it was and it IS a journey.  One day at a time, one step at a time.  Thanks to this site and my commitment to quit, I have not smoked in over four years after smoking for 47 years.  I have COPD and can never forget what smoking did to me, what I ALLOWED it to do...stay close to the site, education about this addiction as well as support and engagement in the community are HUGE factors to help.  I suggest reading a couple of blogs that were written by amazing people here...JonesCarpeDiem‌ wrote /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months  and YoungAtHeart‌ wrote https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/17060-for-our-new-years-quitters-and-community-members-too   I think you will find both of those blogs to be very helpful.

Welcome to EX and by ALL means, listen to Giulia‌.

Ellen

elvan
Member

I apologize if I am repeating myself...my kids point out to me ALL the time, "You told me that, Mom."

Best,

Ellen

Giulia
Member

Cricket As we say here, take what works and leave what doesn't.  I had quit for quite a while before I read the Carr book.  Some of it I could apply, some I couldn't.  What I remember most about the book was that it enabled me to look at my relationship with smoking in a whole different way.   It changed my perspective.  THAT's what I found the most valuable about the book.  

You're quite right and have learned some wisdom Grasshopper, uh, Cricket.  lol  You can't lie to yourself when you quit.  Lies allow for excuses.  And excuses are the traps of relapse.  The journey to longevity is really as simply as accepting the choice and adhering to it.  No matter what.  My choice was to never have another Day One.  Interesting, this just occurred to me.  It wasn't that my mind said, "I will never smoke again," but rather "I will never do another Day One."  I absolutely refuse to go through that process again.  Serial quitters amaze me.  I could never put myself through what they put themselves through several times a month or a year.   That's why, like so many others, each time I quit and went back to smoking it was YEARS before I tried again.

So far it looks like your stats are up to 33% (since two of your buddies have lapsed.)  You should be very proud of yourself.  Keep it precious, keep it nourished.  

Cricket
Member

Thank you Giulia!  This is MY Quit, as far as I'm concerned I have a 100% chance of success! 

About the Author
I'm a 64 year-old flight attendant for a major US airline. Prior to that, I owned an ice cream store and six hot dog carts and put my five kids thru college on hot dog earnings! Prior to THAT, I was Director of International Administration for Domino's Pizza, Inc. I was married to my H.S. sweetheart (dad of my 5 kids) for 17 years. I've been with Jeff for 23 years, but we just finally got married in 2016! Jeff & I live in Cape Meares, OR right on the beach. I'm from Ann Arbor, MI, where many of my kids/relatives still live. My flying base is Washington, DC, where I have a condo that I stay in when I'm between flying trips. My dream is to retire and stay home with Jeff and my two cats, Kenneth & Barbara...not happening soon, though. So I go home whenever I can get a week or more off. I LOVE to meet up with other EXers in the cities where I lay over. I usually blog about what cities I'm laying over in, so let me know if I'm staying near you! I'll buy dinner!! Xxxooo, Sky