After 5-6 days in a row trying, and resetting my QuitDay... yesterday I hit my 24 hr mark.
Morning coffee was my biggest dread when I started. Now im dreading unfamiliar territory of a 2nd day, 3rd day....
i know, success is one day, sometimes moment at a time. My mood isn't as eager this morning. Going into a 2nd day is intimidating me. All the things I've been doing to keep busy, I'm not in the mood to do. I'm tired already.
It's not hopeless. I have to really look at the accomplishment, afyer 30 yrs of smoking. The support from husband & kids have been awesome. I think they are prouder than I am. For some reason yesterday seems like it was easier (after days of trying), than this morning. That bums me out even though I know none of this will be easy. I'm dreading this 1st wk. Yesterday, though, I embraced it. Moods. They are something, sometimes. But having a cig isn't gonna aid help my mood. I won't let that thinking " trick" me. I cannot. I slipped for 5-6 days and not once did I feel better emotionally, physically or otherwise. It only satisfied the addiction for all of 2 min. 2 minutes of my day?!! It's not worth it. But I keep thinking of the damn "puff". More than yesterday. Ugh.
I'm also tired. Possibly from starting to wake at 4am? Idk. So I'm trying to watch something funny. And... really not knowing what to do, but knowing the 1 thing NOT to do But right now.... I need some good cheer and uplifting motivation. I'm here at the house all day.
I felt satisfied about my 24 hrs... until this am and knew it was time for 24 more. I long for the day where it's easier than this. To spend this much time feeling like junk over this ridiculous habit ... is such a waste of my time. But I cannot think of much else. I can get my mind busy. But it's very temporary.
I know - saving money, better health, nicer smells, etc etc.
I'm gonna do this today. You are going to do this today. WE ARE GONNA DO THIS. It feels lonely and all alone-like, but we're doing this together.
Let's do it.
My sincere best, wherever you are,
Jules
Aside from what it feels like 48 hrs is coming... soon enough a week will have gone by.
