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Share your quitting journey

Why Elders are Elders

Giulia
Member
10 18 282


You listening, newbies? The majority of Elder's here (those with a one year quit or more) who are still active (I can't speak for the ones who don't participate on a daily basis), never stop seeking and gaining knowledge about this addiction. Whether it’s knowledge about the tools to overcome cravings, or information about COPD, or about how nicotine works on our brains and ways to combat it. They read every link proffered. I think we Elders gobble it up. Why? I suspect for a number of reasons.

It keeps us emotionally and intellectually involved and active in our quits. It’s part of our quit maintenance and helps keep our quits secure. I also think many Elders have an ongoing curiosity about this addiction and their relationship to it. Speaking for myself, even though I quit over 12 years ago, I still find the topic interesting, and I pass on whatever new information I learn.

In line with that last thought - it helps all of us disseminate the greatest and latest knowledge about smoking and quitting to the newly initiated on this journey. For we have come to understand that knowledge is the key to success.

So the Elder's here, I would say on the whole (correct me if I'm wrong my fellow Elders), keep up the study of this addiction. They keep up their homework, so to speak by doing so. I think that with this addiction, (with any addiction) you really do need to stay actively attentive and participate in your abstinence from it and education about it.  Because the psychological “pull” of your emotional pleasure source comes on strong in emotionally needy times. Not just in your first week or month, but throughout your quitting journey.

When you understand that aspect of the process and accept it, when you understand the seductive nature of excuses and refuse them, when you’re willing to submit yourself to the fire of this rite of passage, you will find the Freedom of which we speak. But it really all stems from the education we get through reading. And the total ‘no-matter-what’ commitment we make.

And a PS - it’s not just Elders here who do this kind of in-depth study. It’s the new members who “get it.” Those who do their homework and sound like Elders in their responses. You can hear them. You know who they are. They don’t just spout the words of wisdom that came before them, they speak in their own quit language. And it’s a language stemming from their own personal knowledge and experience.  And we Elders can tell, right from the get-go many times whether a quitter will make it or not just in the language and approach they use.

When you “get it,” it really doesn’t matter at which stage you are. Elder, younger, newbie, oldbie - when you “get it” - you’re on your way to the cure for the desire for a cigarette. And that’s what we all want, right?!

18 Comments
Barbara145
Member

Wonderful blog, Oh great sage.  I agree with you about continuing to learn about all the things that interest us.  Smoking had me hooked for the majority of my life.  I will always continue to learn and stay vigilant.

MarilynH
Member

Thank you Giulia I also agree with you 100% and Ditto Barbara on continuing to learn and remaining vigilant.....

YoungAtHeart
Member

I do it to gather brownie points to make up for the awful things I do in the REST of my life........(jk)

Well thought out and so true, G.  Well done!

IrishRose
Member

What a powerful blog, Giulia‌ ; just downright powerful!

Irish 

Mandolinrain
Member

Bravo! Bellissimo!

It is truly why I decided to stay connected to EX. To remain teachable ~vigilant of my own quit~ and help others along the way

Great Blog!

Jennifer-Quit
Member

I have a need to "pay it forward".  I really just want to try to give back what I received from the members of this site.   Without all of you, I doubt that I would be here today.  I learned in the beginning, and  now continue to learn after over 4 years, from  elders and newbies alike.  We all contribute to this community - and it takes all of us to  make this site successful.

SimplySheri
Member

You always offer superior insight! 

Daniela2016
Member

I am with Jennifer, the main reason for me to be here is to be able to give back what I was given along the way.  But in the process I also learn, if not by curiosity (sometimes that plays too), then out of respect for the blogger who did the research and brought facts to our attention.  And I am also here for love, for this community radiates it!  We are all different, and are here for different reasons, but at the end of the day, I need to come and check on my old friends, and meet new ones, and make some contribution when I can, or seek support when I need it.

There were times when I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility, the commitment, and I had to step away for a while.  But contrary to others who stepped away to never or very rarely return, I could not stay away for too long.  Because of the need to give back; I smoked my whole life, and if I were to guess, had I not found this community, I would be back at it.

Without the learning, and the support, it has to be terribly hard to beat this addiction.  But there is no need to do it alone, come and find us, and you'll join the ranks of elders like many of us did.

Thank you Giulia‌ for sticking with us to impart wisdom, support, clarity of purpose.

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Thanks for your blog.  We remain to help and to help keep our quit in check.  Sometimes we have to be on top of our game too.  It is a continuous learning process.  Thanks for being here you are a great teacher, elder, and thinker.  I continue to learn from you. 

JonesCarpeDiem

and here I just thought I was old enough. 

cpsono
Member

Great blog, G. After 3 years quit, I know I have to stay vigilant...it gets easier with time but I know I can’t ever get complacent about my quit!!! Thank you for this. You have always been an inspiration and a role model to me!

AnnetteMM
Member

I love the idea of having our own "quit language." That's a very powerful image!  Great blog, G! Thanks so much.

Sandy-9-17-17
Member

Giulia

Because the psychological “pull” of your emotional pleasure source comes on strong in emotionally needy times. Not just in your first week or month, but throughout your quitting journey.

These words really stand out to me "G"  !!! These are truly words to remember! 

I will always keep coming back to support others, as I believe it does actively keep me stronger in my own personal journey!  I know I quit on the notion that I have some spots on my lungs, and that alone was enough to say "Enough is Enough" !

djmurray
Member

I refer to that "pull" as the little addicted lady who will always live inside my brain.  She is insanely opportunistic and I know when I find myself in a somewhat new emotional space she will pop out with a big smile on her face to assure me that a smoke is just what I need.  I know her for who she is, and I've recognized that I don't need to hate her or fear her in order to keep her quietly asleep.  I created her, I nurtured her for 53 years, and she will always be with me.  She simply has no power over me anymore.

Beautiful blog, G, and I do want to be here more often.

virgomama
Member

I guess I could say I "get it".  And frankly it makes me nervous for my next quit.  Which I've been thinking, planning, reading about.  And I must admit that deep inside there's this voice or should I say addiction that tells me I'm not really serious enough about quitting to make this one a final quit.  I've  quit 3 times before.  I'm really nervous about my next quit.  

YoungAtHeart
Member

Spending a bit of time understanding what caused you to decide to smoke in your last attempts and having a plan what you will do differently THIS time might give you the confidence you need.

You CAN do this!  I believe in you - now you just have to, too!

Nancy

Giulia
Member

virgomama   That addiction voice - pay no attention to it.  It's full of excuses and wants you to fail.  What do YOU think you need that you're lacking in the "serious enough" quantifier?  Not enough commitment?  Not willing to go through the discomfort?  Afraid that when you get stressed out you won't be able to handle it without a cigarette?  Just find out what it is that is disqualifying you (in your mind) from making this a "serious" attempt, and change it.  Work on figuring out how to combat your stress another way.  Practice it.  Deepen your commitment by reading about how other people have gone through hell and back yet still maintained smoke-freedom.  Discomfort,  try to accept that that is part of the journey.  Thinking in terms of "forever" I find is not beneficial.  It's huge and scary and it's much better psychologically to set shorter goals.  Start with just getting through one day.  24 whole hours.  Then aim for getting through three days when most of the nicotine leaves your body.  Then aim for your first week milestone.  You CAN do this, but you have to work at it.  If you're willing, freedom can be yours.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/03/01/quitting-is-a-skill-that-can-be-learned?sr=search&searchId=6503f0bd-23...

virgomama
Member

Thanks Youngatheart.  I'm so glad I came into the elders' blogs.  I am so inspired for my next quit.  And I have found some missing pieces just floating around these community blogs that I realize were missing from my last quits.  Thanks ever so much 

About the Author
Member since MAY 2008. I quit smoking March 1, 2006. I smoked a pack and a half a day for about 35 years. What did it take to get me smoke free? Perseverance, a promise not to smoke, and a willingness to be uncomfortable for as long as it took to get me to where I am today. I am an Ex but I have not forgotten the initial difficult journey of this rite of passage. That's one of the things that's keeping me proudly smoke free. I don't want to ever have another Day 1 again. You too can achieve your goal of being finally free forever. Change your mind, change your habits, alter your focus, release the myths you hold about smoking. And above all - keep your sense of hewmer. DAY WON - NEVER ANOTHER DAY ONE. If you still want one - you're still vulnerable. Protect your quit!