I came across this in Melody Beattie's book, Journey to the Heart. I thought it might be appropriate as we are learning to do life without cigarettes.
What's Your Handicap?
"What's your handicap?" the golfer asked his partner. "My childhood," said his companion.
Some handicaps are physical, certain limitations placed on our bodies. Other handicaps are emotional, burdens of heartache from sad or abusive childhoods. Others may be dealing with current issues -- perhaps facing a terminal illness or grieving an irreparable loss.
After losing my son, I found myself at a point where I could no longer stand the agony of waiting for my pain to disappear. I knew that all my life I would miss him, and I became absolutely despondent. There is no way out of this, I thought. I'm spending my life waiting for this pain to disappear so I can begin living my life again. But the pain never will disappear. And I'll never begin living my life again. That's when a gentle idea began to change my life.
I began to understand that I was living and working with a handicap. The loss will always be there. The pain and heartache would always be present. I could accept that, treat it as a handicap, and within that framework go ahead and live my life once more. The moment I made that decision, my attitude and perspective changed. I was able to go on, able to move forward.
Many of us are living with handicaps. Some will change over time, but others won't. If that's the case, stop waiting for your handicap to disappear. Instead, decide to live with it. Work around it. Treat yourself with care, with gentleness. Allow yourself to feel and experience all the limitations and emotions of your present situation. Accept them. Let them be part of you, part of your experience.
Despite living with a handicap,
go ahead and treat yourself to life.
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And cigarettes have nothing to do with life. Your smoking is a handicap you can let go of.
