So this weekend, I finally started wondering why my family has not mentioned the fact that I have not been smoking for 10 weeks now. When I mentioned it to my youngest son (19 yr old), he must have hugged me 5 times over the weekend. He was so happy!
Then I was talking to my husband out by the grill and mentioned to him it had been 10 weeks since I quit. He seemed very surprised and asked if I had smoked even one while over at my mothers house where I go every Sunday and I told him no, not one puff. He was just amazed that his prayers had finally been answered. He looked shocked and like he wanted to cry!
I spoke to my oldest son by phone later that night and mentioned my quit to him as well. He seemed to know that I said I was going to quit when he left for Pennsylvania in Jabuary, but he had never mentioned it when we would talk by phone. I then challenged him to quit as well. I hope he does.
It was at that point that I realized why my quit was such a big deal to me but no one in my family seemed to want to mention it or talk about it at all before. It was because I have let them all down so many times before when I had quit and failed to keep my quits. My family would get their hopes up just to have them dashed again. I never knew this quit meant even more to my family than it did to me. Nor did I realize how many times I have failed them. All I ever thought about was myself.
When I saw the look in my son's and my husband's eyes when I told them I have made 10 weeks, the hope they both held for having a future with me in it! Yes, they both dared to hope again. I will not let them down this time. Never again!
