Welcome to our new Gift..but wondering why the nicodemon is showing himself now

[onelasttime]

Novenber 22nd we welcomed our second grand child a baybee girl Payslee Jo healthy and happy. I am so happy that I am no longer a smoker that I can sit for hours and hold her if I choose and not have to worry about the addict in me screaming to feed it. No need to worry about the stinch of my body or clothes from smoking cig after cig..wonderful. After 681 days tho the past couple of weeks that horrible addiction has been rapping at my head every few days you know the "your over it just one won't hurt." After all this time I know I can't smoke one and the thoughts pass fast but I am a bit confused why they are attacking me now at one of the best times of my life, granted this has been a trying year financially and personally but I don't feel I have any desire to become a smoker again my health is 100 percent better my anxiety is all but gone my pain is better but there is that little tapping in my head to smoke. But I know I won't because I have to much to loose. Just wonder why it has taken so long to show up I haven't really struggled much since I first quit any thoghts on this?i AM AS STRONG AS EVER . I WILL NOT EVER SMOKE AGAIN.. But be warned to those of you who think you are out of the woods its still hiding in there awaiting the day you are weak..so stay strong and know you always have to be ready to resist...Hugs Deb

[KatherineF]

Thank you so much for this blog.  I haven't had any trouble so I need to watch it.  I am sorry you are having trouble now but hopefully it won't last long.  Congratulations on a healthy grandchild!

[Ex_Nancy]

Something you saw or felt brought on the thought. It's completely normal so don't worry...maybe you saw someone smoking in front of the hospital and it acted as a trigger? It could be a lot of things around this time of year that caused it..like the holidays,lol...but i'll give you this letter from a blog I did a few weeks ago to copy if you like, it might help...

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It always happens this time of year...We have friends and family over to our homes and we go out shopping with the holiday spirit in mind and BAM!!! We have to look at other people smoke and we think, "I want one too"... but although we smoked because we thought we liked it and enjoyed it, the truth is we only smoked because we were craving the drug we were addicted to.

It's a mind game........Allen Carr said in his book that the the only thing wrong with quitting smoking is other smokers...(We are taught to pity smokers because they HAVE to smoke, they're addicts..... but instead, we usually fall back into the old junkie way of seeing the situation instead of the right way to think ) So, the smokers that RARELY go out shopping OR go see friends and family do so during the holidays and they smoke in front of us....remind yourself that the person you see smoking is DIFFERENT THAN THE SMOKER YOU THINK YOU SEE........DO NOT ENVY THESE SMOKERS!!! They are having problems whether you realize it or not.... AND they are having problems that we cannot SEE. They may have had a heart attack already or a cancer diagnosis and worry about all the medical bills and their insurance company dumping them, and whether or not they will live much longer if they keep smoking.......or the younger girl that is taking birth control pills and smoking at the same time, risking her life with a deadly combo leading to stroke, Aunt Jane with COPD,(she says she'll quit soon) but has no plans too or the guy in front of Wallmart...he's wondering why he has to smoke 3 packs a day, and the other guy smoking in front of the restaurant has bad sleeping problems..... he keeps waking up and can't breathe...he wonders what to do, no problem, he lights up another smoke..And remember, there is no such thing as one puff...it's the whole package deal that goes with it. One puff will make you a full fledged smoker again......N.O.P.E.

[TheNewMe_Jo]

Amen to that Deb , thanks for posting this... as an "elder" I hate that name for you long time quitters...

Congrats on your new baby, so precious, and yes, now you can hold her and know shes not smelling that funk of smoke.

I think - and say this to my friends all the time- that we will always have a part of us, deep down inside, when out of no where, the thought of smoking pops into our head.

Look at you, long long time quitter and here we are havin this conversation.

NO we wont act upon it, yet we will from time to time think about when we did smoke or have a funny feeling pop into our gut, like woahhh I used to smoke.

MAYBE, you having that thought, brought you here, and someone else will benefit from your blog.. I know, I sure am glad to hear you say it.

I just know, for myself, how big of an addict I was. That no matter how strong I am in my quit, I will have an occasional "thought", and how can we not?

I'm about to go fight a battle with my doctor about removing his ash trays out of the front of his building,. I am stronger, which I was before anyways, standing up to people who I once would have never even for the sake of saving a life or to protect MY health.

I don't believe in NML.. sorry folks I don't. I do believe that perhaps its our most vulnerable time, maybe..? But look at who just posted this blog people... it goes to show you...

we have to always face the truth about this addiction...

Thank you again for posting this blog.. I enjoyed it

congrats again on the new baby 🙂

JoAnn... 30 yr smoker... an EX for 127 days :))

[JonesCarpeDiem]

If you had never smoked, you wouldn't have these memories.

that's all they are.

memories of the nicotine high when you smoked.

no different than any other addict

[misty_dawn]

Thank you for posting this.  It happens, sneaky little thoughts. Dale is so right, they are memories...maybe memories of the last time you were at a hospital welcoming a little one into the world or visiting a sick friend...

Thank goodness it gets so much easier to kick them out of your head with practice.

[Bonnie11.3.2009]

 That dopamine is good stuff!  So good, we remember it for a very long time.  But that's all it is, Deb, a memory.  You've made the decision and you honor that everyday!  Enjoy that new grandbaby, congratualtions!

[shill57957]

If you have a smoking memory you need to dismiss it right away.  Don't dwell on it or it will grow.  We are nicotene addicts and that doesn't change.  It is a life long label.  But if you don't allow it to run your life or take hold of your thoughts you will be just fine.  It's all a matter of how you see it.  BE POSITIVE.  Some people continue to suffer and unless they still have nicotene in their system, they need to look at why they are letting this take such a big hold of them.  Get rid of those thoughts.  Be happy you are free, why waste time thinking about them.  Not me.  

And No Man's Land is just a label that some have used to call that period from about 30 to 130 days it is not scientific but it is true.  It is a time where we have to learn to live life without cigarettes.  We have to experience life in its different forms without them to lean on, so our first thought isn't smoking.  You can call it whatever you want but if you want to be in that 6% that ACTUALLY make it one year.  You have to learn to live without them.  

Also, this is an open forum and many people have many different opinons, keep that in mind when reading blogs.  The main thing we should do here is love, support and encourage each other.  

Sheri / Day 120 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You ought to go save Cain with this bs.

   "I don't believe in no mans land" sorry I don't

 "I do believe that perhaps its our most vulnerable time, maybe..?"

   What do you think we are talking about???

[onelasttime]

Did I mention No Mans Land? I am confused

[JonesCarpeDiem]

No you didn't deb.

read the other responses.

[froguelady]

I believe as a nicotine addict it will be a life long battle.  I know it will for me.  Maybe for some it  won't be but I know that is not my case.  I also know I am stronger than the nicodemon and will not give in but also know I must always be on guard to never let the " just one" thought take control.  I hope this makes sense.

[jojo_2-24-11]

I am with you, Froguelady, Always protect your quit, no matter what!