I woke up this morning at first with a bit of excitement as it's Sunday which means a couple of hours at church with some amazing people. Upon making my coffee and checking my ministry blog I went to grab a smoke as I prolonged it as long as I could (I woke up at 4am - my back pain keeping me from sleeping more than a couple of hours at a time) and reached for the pack. Empty! I am in a panic. It's Sunday, the closest store is closed. Which means I either go without today, or venture out in the cold and walk a block in pain to get the smokes. Although I've not been smoking like I did a week ago, and I'm feeling really good about my quit, I could probably go without the smokes if I had some NRTs. Going a full day without the added padding isn't what I'm really wanting to deal with before my quit date. Is the pain of walking that far worth it, or going a day without them worth it? I have to make a decision that I'm willing to deal with. I'm not happy that I didn't notice I was going to run out before the store closed last night.
I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and hard place and if I go without smokes today, I might as well just quit cold turkey at this point! What's the sense in going without them for one day, just to buy a pack tomorrow?!
I'm not ready for this.. going without, or walking in pain!
I really need a voice of reason.... My voice is almost in tears!
