I'm having a hard time writing this through the happy tears because I never thought I would get to this point. I came back to my original profile because it has the entire history of me quitting, but September 4th 2017 is the day I said goodbye to cigarettes for good. I can't believe it. I remember being on my porch in Portland OR, listening to the last of Allan Carr's words through my headphones. Now I am on the East Coast again and am no longer addicted to nicotine.
This time was different than all my other quit attempts before. Instead of combating nicotine head on, I replaced it with health. I researched everything about veganism and instead of constantly thinking about cigarettes, I distracted my brain. My nicotine addiction was a dead plant in a pot, and where before I'd take the plant out and be left staring at an empty pot, focusing on eating healthier was like me putting a new beautiful plant in the pot and eventually I forgot why I needed cigarettes in the first place.
It wasn't all good. I went through the worst time of my life two months into quitting. My live-in boyfriend said I was selfish for getting healthier and was cheating on me. I had to move back home and have had a lot of ups and downs since then, but the most important thing is that I didn't deal with the pain by smoking. Nicotine wouldn't have made any of the situations better. I have saved $4,300 by not buying poison. I have watched my family continue smoking, even though I have told them about become an ex, and they all know about Allan Carr. It makes me sad that they won't even attempt to quit because cigarettes aren't doing ANYTHING at all to help, but it's so hard for them to see that while they're in the middle of the storm.
I can't convince anyone to help themselves if they don't want to, but I can come here and say congratulations to the people who are trying. To everyone who has days, weeks, months and years under their belts. GOOD FOR YOU!! YOU ARE DOING IT!! Even just coming here and looking means that you are on the right path. Even if you've tried to quit 20 times, just trying is something and each time you try you will learn more of what works and what doesn't work for. No matter what, do not quit quitting. You don't need cigarettes. They need you. Without you, they have no power. They are just little sticks of tobacco and you are worth much more than that.
Thank you for supporting me when I needed it for all these years. I made another account (lexyluna) as a fresh start, but I wanted to come back to this one for this post. You can read me from the times that I never thought I could do it. But I did it. Despite living with smokers, despite going through hardships and moving 3 times, going through 2 breakups, my car breaking down multiple times, finding new jobs, leaving jobs, and just basic every day life trials, I have remained a non-smoker, and if I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!
I love you all.
