Getting ready to get to bed, but wanted to share the feelings i'm having. Tomorrow is really, truly my last day. Giulia asked what kind of work I do, and I have been a contracts manager for a government/defense contractor for the last ten years. That means I work on proposals to the government and to prime contractors, I review documents to make sure the company is protected, I have a warrant up to $50 Million to sign for the company, I have a security clearance, and I manage the contracts or subcontracts once they're awarded. If issues arise that are of a contractual nature that's my baliwick.
And tomorrow, after 10 years in the field and 7.5 years at this company, I won't have a job. I am positive, and do have a second interview at another company where I would be doing the same kinds of things, but tonight, just for now, I'm sad and scared.
But one thing I know for sure. Smoking wouldn't make me any less sad or scared. Even though I spent over half a century believing that it helped me, I know so much better now. I'm owning up to my emotions and feelings as they are right now. I'll get up tomorrow, and go in, and maintain my dignity. But tonight I am sad and scared.
Love you all. I'm so grateful for all of you.
