Dear becomeanex.org, well I am really going through a stressful period at this time and yes I did have a couple more fleeting thoughts of how nice a cigarette would be today but those thoughts are kind of like the same thoughts I think when "boy my life would be great if I just had a new Mercedes Benz." and then I take my time and realize and think about how much maintenance and all the extra car expenses go into owning a Mercedes Benz and it just isn't worth it for the amount of pleasure that comes with owning a Mercedes Benz. With smoking to light up the first one then means that all the things I have loved about quitting smoking are instantly gone. To light up again to me means: 1)the smell and odor are back. What a bummer after all the work I had done. 2)What about the $5.00 I just spent? $5.00 is not that much money is it? Well with the cigarettes it is too much and $5000.00 is never enough. $5.00 goes to $5000.00 very quickly before I know it. 3) And what about the mess? Things have been as clean as a whistle around here for almost 4 months now. When I used to smoke I needed a snow shovel to keep up with all the cigarette butts I had laying around all day. Today is actually day 117 for me and 117 x $5.00 = $585.00!!! Almost 6 hundred dollars I have earned in just 4 short months!!! The PTSD and the anxiety i feel from that are still there but it could be so much worse attempting to pick up and smoke the first one again. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I am grateful to be a non smoker just for today!!! Thanks.
