Hello Everyone,
By the end of the day today, I will have 30 days of freedom again. I know my previous blog expressed my rough couple of days and after getting such great feedback from friends here and just retrospect,,going back and reading my old blogs.
First of all, let me just say,,and I have to refer to relapsing again,,I know, but it's there and I need to address this.
About who Makes The Rules ( from Jonescarp) Well, here's what I just told my sister on the phone. Our addiction dictates that , and the relapse and why our quit days gets wiped out when we relapse.
My junkie mind thinks I can get back that great feeling,,and I do know it because I experienced it and I even re read that feeling in my 3 - 7 months of my last quit. I thought I would feel that way again in no time at all. Nope,,uh uh,,,it don't work like that. When you mess up,,you start right at zero again! No one made this rule,,our addiction, our bodies and our minds is the only thing that dictates it and it's a known fact, by me now,,I'd laugh here, but it's not really funny. I know for a fact that my past couple rough days are because I was expecting myself to "feel" like that non smoking person I was before at this point. My patience is not very good these days and my junkie mind started going haywire. It was a snowball effect and it just makes it all worse and worse. Anyhow, I want to blog all this so I will never ever forget this horrible struggle that I brought upon myself. Also, I spent quite a bitof time here the past couple days,as this place really helps when I hit the rough spots. I started reading a little too much ,,lol,,almost feeling like some things were meant towards me indirectly,,maybe they are , but whatever. I need to work on my quit here and stay focused on that reason alone. Thank goodness for great people here. One friend (Debi) gave me such perfect advice and I have to share what she said,,
"We all come here to quit and each of us is different. We are each responsible for our own quit,,no one else. When we come here, it is to get support and give support. Some blogs can help us while others may not. We just have to learn to take what we need and leave the rest"
So, if anyone's sensitivities are running on the high side,,and that can be any one of us when we're having one of them days,,remember those words. Take only what you need,,anything else, just let it go, and remember why you're here first and foremost!
God, I love that!
I had such a beautiful day today! I feel so much better and Thanks to all of you for that!
I hope Everyone has a Peace Filled Weekend!
Keep Kicking Them Butts! N.O.P.E.
I pledge to not take one puff today! (join me)
Hugs!
Diane
