This is not easy

[mpnaegle]

I am back.  I’ve fallen off the wagon so many times since I joined this website two years ago.  I just fell again.

But this is not easy.

What “this” am I referring to?  Quitting smoking.  And staying quit.

I come to this website for education, support and community with people who have all been or currently are where I am.  I come to pledge daily, to post about my successes, my frustrations, and, as in today, my failures.

This is not easy.

I thank everyone who is encouraging me along.  All I ask is that you are understanding, patient and unconditional in your support, as I have been with everyone I’ve “met” here.  No judgment.

Thank you.

Mark

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Welcome home! We missed you!

[mpnaegle]

Thank you Thomas!!!!  

[sweetplt]

Mark I have wondered where you were the past few weeks, but sorta had a feeling you were smoking...these are just little moments where you don’t smoke working towards the big quit...honey do it...make the commitment...it’s amazing if you hang long enough away from smokes, you will start feeling like an ex smoker...but only you can make that choice...I got you so close to my heart, I hope you make the choice before you have no choice...so like Thomas said...Welcome back...work it like nothing else...Hugs Colleen aka sweetp..549 DOF 

[mpnaegle]

Thank you (((((Colleen))))).  I want to stay quit.  I want to be free...

[sweetplt]

Honey I know you do...and I know addiction is hard...I just want it so bad for you Mark...

[MarilynH]

Welcome home Mark we're all here for you and we're rooting you on, you can do this deep breaths and believe in yourself because we believe in you....

[Maki]

Everything said in love . 

Post before you smoke . It helps you , it helps us . 

I do not know you or how far you've come but I'm glad you are here to quit smoking no matter how many times you've been through this before . You can do it , you know that right ? The effort you put in , is the reward you will reap . Don't give away the quit when it gets tough because the next day may be the breakthrough you've been looking for . The way out is through . 

We are here for you , just the same as so many before us were here for us , myself included .

Gratefulness is a power tool . 

Take what you need to help move your quit forward . Leave the rest on the back burner .

It may just be that someone else needs to hear that part or you yourself will come back to it when it's needed.

Everything shared is valuable .

It surprising even what is thought to be tough love is actually love too and comes in handy when you least expect . Most of those times those tough lines we thoughtbas harsh were because someone knew they were things we needed to hear. 

Perhaps they too needed to hear them for themselves at one point in their own quit .

Truth hurts sometimes , but it's the truth we need to hear to beat this addiction . Addiction lies . 

I suggest and encourage you to read , post and share . Find some helpful short mantras you can go to in times of stress too but post as often as you need . That is not a weakness btw , it shows determination and strength .

Put addicts pride aside and reach out any time . We are all in this together , but in the end you make and call all the shots .

You CAN quit and I'm so glad you are here . You are a fighter . 

I will leave you with this ; 

Smoking is not the solution to quitting smoking .

Take appropriate action . 

Dont smoke . 

[Deena-A-Yenni]

I've been waiting for your return with bated breath.  Just thot about you earlier and here you are posting.  Funny eh?  So glad you are back.

[Jennifer-Quit]

No judgement here - I wanted to quit from the moment that I started when I was about 16.  Many failed attempts but finally was successful with my last attempt a little over 6 years ago. Never give up!  You only fail when you quit trying.  A good attitude will take you far - so my only advise is to work on developing a "quitting for life attitude".  Best wishes to you!

[indingrl]

 please know Mark I too smoked again and again - I once smoked cuz this person had the same quit day as ME - I smoked this other time because I am a NICOTINE ADDICT - each time I failed - I came right BACK to keep learning and praying and growing and ONLY by God's grace - I took the SUGGESTIONS made and tried again - I had been trying to quit since 1988 - many many failures YET I kept praying - I am just SHARING MY RECOVERY adventures - to be HELPFUL - I finally got on MY knees and prayed - Dear Jesus if you don't take these cigarettes from me I will smoke them until I drop dead in Jesus name amen

[mpnaegle]

Thank you (((((Jennifer))))).  I’m so over falling off the wagon after being successfully quit for weeks, months, sometimes years.  I want to stay quit.  You’re right—I can and will do this!!!

[mpnaegle]

(((((Maki))))) thank you!!!!!  I’m cheering you on too.

[mpnaegle]

(((((indingrl))))) thank you!!!!!!  I’m staying strong and will stay close to this site.  Hugs to you.

[Mandolinrain]

What comes easy won't last......What last's won't come easy.

I am so sorry you are struggling. I relate. I also had several failed attempts...but here I am and here you are. I made it through and I'm telling ya, you will too...."What last's won't come easy'. Big loaded words that you need to swallow Mark.

None of us want to feel uncomfortable and smoking was a huge comfort for I suspect, a great many of us. The thing is....now I realize how fooled I was regarding that comfort zone. Nothing truly changed, if you follow. Whatever stressor we were trying to illuminate by smoking, came forward again...soon after we snuffed the thing out. 

You know what you need to do. Im certainly not going to judge you. I am just SO GLAD you keep coming back. 

So lets do this together this time. 

Perhaps its time to start at the beginning again. Thats what I had to do anyway. I made a journal and each time I wanted to smoke I thought long and hard about WHY. Then I listed several things to do instead of smoke. I also filled a jar with several ideas to go do rather than smoke. 

You can and you will find your way Mark. I believe you want this bad enough, so here we are...can you commit to us rather than the smokes? We choose you...now you need to choose us  Best to you!

[mpnaegle]

(((((Mandolinrain))))) thank you!  And you’re right.  What comes easy won’t last.  I’m staying strong, I’m re-committed and I want to stay quit.  Thank you for your support and encouragement!!!

[Deena-A-Yenni]

Wow.  Wonderful support and encouragement above here Mark.  We know you can and will do this.  Education is key.  Read all you can on this site.

[RachelMB]

No judgement here my friend.  I so want this for you and I know you do too.  Welcome home-let us know how we can help you.xoxoxo

Rachel

[Barbscloud]

Mark, we all want you to be successful and are here to cheer you on.  I respect anyone that doesn't give up and comes back to the site to begin their journey again.   Again, reach out before you smoke.  It's just enough time to delay that urge.  I know it worked for me several times early in my quit.  

Stay close

Barb

[maryfreecig]

Mark, you may not realize it, but not smoking is for you, and all about you. There will always be a reason to have another cigarette because that is what dependency does. I know this because I was dependent on cigarette smoking/nicotine for nearly 35 years. In a way, I quit to find hope. I'd crawled into a very tiny closet, locked the door and curled into the fetal position for years. One stress after another, another disappointment, perhaps trying to brave responsibilities that felt like too much. I didn't know all this when I quit at 54 in 2013, I didn't know that I was running away from life rather than learning to cope and embracing it. As a smoke, I'd come to a point of giving up and deciding that I'd smoke til I had lung cancer (as if I could decide). 

I quit on a wing and a prayer and I have a feeling many of us do. I defied my hopelessness one day at a time. 

You keep coming back and I am so glad you do. We are here for one another. Quitting will always be one day at a time. Wishing you peace and comfort. Big hug.

[Daniela2016]

Welcome back Mark, and never, ever give up.  So many of us were serial quitters before we really became quit.  Your struggle is nothing new to any of us, we've all been there.  Even after what seems many years (4), if you let your guard down, you can slide on the wrong path, ready to give up; been there several weeks ago.

And as I promised when I joined, I wrote a blog, and waited long enough for our supporters to get back; and they did: they blogged, they called, they IM'd.  Learn from the elders, we are all addicts, and only one thought away from smoking again.  But we keep it down, with all means, and conscious thinking.  Addiction resides in our brain, and our mind can plan, stick with it, talk ourselves over the craves.  The more you do it, the easier it becomes.  Another "stinking thinking", just repeat the process.

We'll be here to help!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

/blogs/JACKIE1-25-15-blog/2015/10/21/stay-connected?sr=search&searchId=fab8cdfc-be2e-4e1f-b003-93638...‌

[Giulia]

Maybe one of the following links will help.  If not, all you need do is put "serial quitter" in the search box and you'll find more.  No, it's not easy.  But you can do it, Mark.  Really you can.  You've been working on this for two years now.  Time to get 'er done.  No?  What is the key for you?  Do you think?  Why do you keep going back to another Day One?  Do you know?  (I'm not judging, just asking questions that I think we all need to ask ourselves when we aren't achieving our long-term, smoke-free goal.)  Sometimes we simply don't know.  And if that's the case, then we need to spend a lot more time figuring it out.  I think a lot of times we know the answer but just skirt around it.  We really don't want to acknowledge it.  And in those cases we need to be extremely truthful with ourselves.  

Keep at it.  Perseverance eventually pays off.

/blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/03/25/for-the-serial-quitters-out-there 

/blogs/Thomas3.20.2010-blog/2019/11/27/the-serial-quitter-trap 

The Common Thread for All "Serial Quitters" 

/blogs/Mandolinrain-blog/2017/09/22/are-you-a-serial-quitter 

[mpnaegle]

(((((Giulia))))) thank you.  I’m going to bed soon, but I will check these links out tomorrow.  Thank you so much.  Your encouragement and support is so appreciated right now.  I’m coming into Day 3 and this is all starting to get a little easier.  And I’m not giving up.  I won’t give in this time.  I’m going to be 45 at the end of July and I don’t want to put my health at risk any more.  I love myself, more than the addiction to cigarettes.  One day at a time.  

[Giulia]

How I wish I had quit at 45.  Heck, how I wish I had stayed quit when I first quit at 21.  BUT, I quit when I quit for the last time and I'm ever so grateful I finally figured it out.  All I can say is I hope this is your last time too.  Because we all know what a drag it is to have to begin all over again.  For me, it eventually became SO HARD to go back to the start line that it became easier to just stay quit and finally finish the race.  I'll tell you one thing I've learned - self discipline really boosts a sense of self sufficiency and self worth.  

[MistyNoMore]

Hi. I quit in Sept. 2013 with the boyfriend. He has secretly started up countless times since then.  He is disabled so his checks don't stretch far and I was having to pay for things like his medicine because he would run out of money... which is just like me paying for cigs for him which I DON"T LIKE.  Anyway, this last time he started back smoking after getting his government stimulus check.  I question the wisdom of that! But as far as me, I can't imagine going thru that quit again, so I just said NOPE. Not One Puff Ever (I learned that on this web site!)  NOPE.  Good luck to you. 

[Giulia]

Keep working on it, Mark.  Don't you give up the fight.  Ya hear?!

[maryfreecig]

How is it going, Mark?

[mpnaegle]

Hi maryfreecig‌!  It's going well.  I'm now 8 days smoke-free so hanging in there and staying strong and close to this website.  I think I'm going to make it this time!  I want to be free, finally, so I'm doing everything I can to stay quit.  Thank you for your support and encouragement!!!!!!  Hugs, Mark

[maryfreecig]

Yeah Mark!!!  So good to hear that you are doing well, feeling strong. Congratulations on 8!