This is a test. This is only a test.....

[joycequit022316]

Hi Everyone

My refrigerator is practically bare - nothing ever sounds good at the grocery store (except my ever present sunflower seeds). Usually there are several frozen dinners in the freezer for just this kind of day, so I went searching. I pulled out a plastic bag (wondering why I had a plastic bag in the freezer) and opened it, and to my surprise, there were three packs of cigarettes in there! I thought the pack I drowned and tossed almost 6 weeks ago was the last of a carton, but no..........

My first thought was "I don't do that any more". Now that's not to say I didn't have a "second" thought, which was "Oh, I'd rather have these than a frozen dinner". But I was able step back, consider, let it pass, and then  I opened the packs, drowned them, and out to the garage trash they went in the frozen plastic bag. 

I am greatly encouraged that I had that first thought immediately. If I hadn't spent a huge amount of time reading blogs here, getting tips and hints and generally noticing what is working for people, I'm very sure I might have smoked. I'm thankful for every single thing I read and learn daily. Thanks especially to the "elders", I read your blogs and links obsessively, over and over.  Also, even when I slack a couple days, I depend very much on the accountabiity of Terri's hand holding group. I keep plugging away.....

Joyce

[Legend]

I’m glad you got rid of those smokes. That was a big temptation for you to overcome but you did it.  You are in control now not this addiction I am very proud of you. You can do this no matter what happens. 

[TerrieQuit]

Great job Joyce! That education, willingness and determination really paid off for you! I am very proud of you! And yes you are a dedicated pledger! I am glad you soaked 'em down and got rid of 'em. I wouldn't have doubted you for a minute! You are doing great, keep moving forward!

I Won't Quit on my Quit!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Congratulations!

That little thought is our most powerful tool for if that thought comes to mind first, you've stopped yourself from moving forward to the next step.

There are always going to be reminders of smoking but it really does get to a point where it's not even a possible consideration once we let it go.

[ShawnP]

Reading everything does make the difference! Great job!!!! N.O.P.E!

[YoungAtHeart]

Reading is KEY - glad you have one for moments like this!

As an aside, a Maryland Dept.of Health Quit Smoking site actually SUGGESTED keeping a frozen pack.  The idea was supposed to be that if you were tempted, you could talk yourself out of it before one thawed.  Well --- if you THINK about that - tobacco doesn't FREEZE!! And that, my friends, is why this site works and the State ones don't!!!

Nancy

[Giulia]

I find this fascinating.  Before I quit I knew EXACTLY where every pack of cigarettes was.  Like a squirrel I knew where they all might be hidden.  And if I didn't know, I searched through every cupboard, pocket, drawer, car hidey-hole - you NAME it, I made SURE there were no temptations available.
And that's actually a lie.  Because I always knew exactly  how many cigarettes I had left and didn't squirrel them away, knew on my last day before quitting that I was down to my last pack of cigarettes in the carton.  And that I would either smoke them all or have to put them under the sink tap.  Guess which choice I made?  I smoked them ALL.  Every last one. Even though I was "smoked out" for the day and didn't want another one before I went to bed.  There was no way I was going to throw away good money.  (Didn't realize it at the time, but what I was saying by that was that I'd rather throw away my life, than throw away my money.)  Ah, retrospect and the wisdom we learn from it.
But I am still surprised that you actually forgot you had squirreled away those three packs of cigarettes in the freezer.  Simply because I can't imagine having done that myself.  I knew exactly how many packs I had left in my carton at any given time.  And I knew when I got down to around half a pack at the end of the day of the last pack in that carton (whichever carton it was), how many cigarettes I had left in that pack to smoke - for that night.  I'd count them.  And it made me nervous.  (Now I have that same fear about running out of garlic!  lol!  True!)  Suppose I happened to smoke MORE that day.  Would I finish that pack that night and have none left for the morning?  That would mean I wouldn't have those four, first off, with my morning coffee.   Made me nervous just thinking about it.  And depending upon how nervous it made me, I would either go out and buy a pack, even though I was tired and ready for bed, or know that I was going to "suffer" the next morning because I didn't have my "cigarette fix."
Wow.  What a head trip you've just taken me back to.  And it's good.  It tells me I made the right choice.  As you just did.  That was a TEST indeed.  Especially at only 41 days smoke free.  And you BESTED it!  It means to me that you've not only done your homework but learned from it.  And have actually absorbed the advice given by those who have trodden the path before you.
It's that breath of a moment we take to "step back" from the overwhelming, all encompassing addictive monster's whisper (or SHOUT actually) that saves us.  That "step back."  That 'Wait a minute - let's not act blindly, let's just THINK for a moment about what we're gonna do here."  That's really all it takes.  That simple "step back."  
Hope you don't mind if I turn a lot of what I just said into a future blog of my own.  Yours has spurred me on.  If you always manage psychologically, emotionally to take that "step back,"  you will have your "forever" quit.
NOPE is the ingrained "step back" in my mind.  Your was "I don't do that any more."  Whatever it is that enables us to  take that step back is what will ensure our longevity on this journey.  
You’ve done well.  Very well.  Never let it go, Joyce.  Never let it go.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

CONGRATULATIONS!

These are the Victories that mean even more than the Milestones! Once done, we know that we have it in us to do it again! At 100 days my boss left her Sickerettes right next to me - on purpose! I had to stare at them - all day! But I did not say anything to here and I did not give in because I figured that was the only way to stop this pathetic behavior! It worked! Now having a pack of Sickerettes around doesn't excite me, irritate me, even stimulate me in any way! They're just an inanimate onject that I can't relate to! Detachment! It comes with time and working your Quit Journey!

You DID IT!

[elvan]

CONGRATULATIONS!  You ACED that test.  Years ago, I lost a quit when I was having a particularly bad day and I screamed, I can't DO this, went to the refrigerator and slammed the door when nothing appealed to me and a pack of cigarettes I did not know was there, fell off the top of the fridge.  I failed, I smoked them and it took a long time to restart my quit.  If it wasn't for the support I get from this site, I would never have been able to sustain my quit.  NOPE is my go to phrase along with I don't do that any more. My oldest daughter has been quit for seven months now and while she doesn't participate here, she said that NOPE really connected with her and she has not smoked!

[Jennifer-Quit]

Very good job on passing that test!  I am proud of you! 

[anna90]

Congratulations!!! You passed that test with flying colors. 

[johio]

Great Job...Great Blog

[giants10]

WOW! Having done "the search" for any cigarettes I may have left behind I can't (as yet) imagine not smoking one if I was unlucky enough to find one.

I admire your strength for drowning & ditching - keep on!

[jlmh67456]

great job!  i'm just on day 6 of my LAST quit (i've quit twice before, once for 17 years and once for 1 year)....april fool's day was as good as any to choose....so last friday was my first day of NO cigarettes after preparing myself for 3 weeks.  so i'm getting ready to leave for work and i had put 3 cigarettes in a pack to keep with me, "just in case".  and i realized my husband (who is a smoker) TOOK THEM FROM ME!  i was so freaked out and upset.....poor guy had left for work but was just around the corner getting coffee so he brought them back to me!  he heard my anxiety in my text lol....but anyway i don't know if anybody else understands or has felt like this...if i keep those smokes with me, i won't smoke them....it's MY choice.  I CHOOSE not to smoke.  When he took them, he took away my choice which really caused anxiety!  weird huh? and now almost a week later i'm almost ready to give them to him.  lol almost - but no fear, i will not smoke.  i've looked at this quit for what it is for the first time, an addiction.  keeping that in the back of my head at all times keeps me on track.  THANK YOU FOR THIS SITE!  I'VE LEARNED MUCH AND GAINED COURAGE, IDEAS AND WILLPOWER FROM ALL OF YOU!