I have been sitting here, playing on my computer all day. Was playing a game, when ex popped up over my game. I was gonna pass it by, but it couldn't have hit me at a better time, then now. I decided to go for it, been saying I'm gonna quit for over a year now, and I'm still smoking. I thought to myself, this is a message from my guardian angel...cute. I signed up, made my quit date. Now keep in mind, I've stop smoking before. Stress hits you big, I prefer not to drink my problems out, so went back to smoking. WRONG MOVE! I just wanted one hit, well that hit turn into 4 years. I'm so through with myself. And the one thing that really messes me up. I'm 42 years old, and scared to tell my mother that I've started back smoking. I feel that I will let her down. My mother stopped smoking over 20 years ago. And of course she is a Registered Nurse. So when she comes in contact with someone who smokes, believe me, she lets you know it. "Smoking is bad for your health!" "Please don't smoke around me, I may be liable of second hand smoke, it can kill you, you know..." and the list goes on. So I keeps my fabreeze handy, along with my strong mints so she can't smell the smoke in my clothes, or on my breath. But now, since I've join, I have hope, a purpose. As I have tears running down my face, my only son who is 18, said to me one day, "Mom..please stop smoking.." I keep hearing him say that to me. Over and over again. But I haven't stopped. But this time, I'm going for it head on. AND NOTHING IS GONNA STOP ME...
