I woke up at 6:20am today. Usually I would take a hit of my vape and go back to sleep. but I told myself to wake up and make coffee and I came directly back to this site. I re-read my first blog post and the comments. It filled me with hope and motivation and I know I can do this.
yesterday was rough. The first 3 hrs at work were fine for the most part, but by lunch time I was feening for a puff. I scavenged my car and found some disposable vapes. They were mostly out but I still took some hits then threw them away. Another three hours at work felt like torture. But I managed. As soon as I got home, I took a hit of my vape.. and instantly felt the nicotine high i missed all day. It felt good but I felt guilty. I knew this is the chemical reacting in my brain and it is so unhealthy. I threw away the vape.
this is how I am. If it is in the house I know I’ll use it. But now my apartment and my car are smoke free. My father bought me a bunch of nicotine gum which I think I’ll use now instead of quitting just cold turkey. But I’ll use it sparingly so I don’t get just get hooked on nicotine gum.
i am chewing it now and it helped. The morning ARE THE HARDEST. But I’m chewing my gum and having my coffee. I can do this. I have to do this. I want to be smoke free. I can’t break easily. I have to be mentally strong. I believe in myself. This will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I know I’m capable.
I got to remember to check this site during the day when I’m feeling stressed about wanting to smoke. And I can read other posts for guidance and I can do other stuff instead, like my homework, listening to music, etc. it’s up to me to change my routines and habit.
I can do this. I know I can. Just got to stay strong.
