Six years ago, I quit smoking. I did awesome! And then I crashed hard. I could blame it on a lot of things, most of which I could blame on my ex-husband and his return to my life, however, in the end, I was the one at the end of the cigarette, I was the one striking the match. That was my choice.
My body is now telling me the choice is no longer mine to make. Welcome to COPD - a condition that is ENTIRELY caused by my poor choices! Was I warned? So many times I lost count - doctors, friends, family,... increased asthma problems, constant coughing and lest we forget the repeated bouts of bronchitis! I was warned, I was counseled, I was begged... and I did what I wanted - damn the consequences. Funny how that all changes when its time to pay the piper for the dance.
I am angry. Not at the cigarette manufacturers, not at the government, not at my parents for being smokers, or my friends that got me smoking with silent peer pressure, not at my ex for making me start up again... no, I'm angry at myself. That's a hurdle that seems harder to overcome than kicking nicotine.
