Hi,
Well...I am on day 16, and that is great! I am honestly happier than I have ever been in my life...sort of. I can sure see how awful smoking was making my life and it is really not that hard not to smoke. However, the thing that I was most concerned about was weight gain and I have gained some weight already.
This is very upsetting to me, and I am trying to look at it like a weight issue, rather than a smoking issue, because I do not think that smoking is really going to do anything to help with whatever my weight concerns are...I think that eating a proper diet and keeping up with my work out is what will help with that...I am very involved in a lot of different kinds of physical activity, but I have been so busy with work and school, that it's been hard to keep up with it all, and will be this way until summer, at which time I will be making some big changes toward a career in this area. So, it is important to me that I do not have a bunch of weight gain between now and then.
It's kind of difficult to really know what is going on, because I have had some pretty severe nausea since quitting and the last few days my stomach has been so bloated, I literally look 5 months pregnant, and the pain is pretty bad. I think this one may require a doctor. I have had this sort of problem before, but not on this level, and it makes me wonder if my metabolism has been affected or if it's possible that my body is detoxing nicotine and wondering if that has been hard on my body. My body is very, very sensitive.
In any case, I will deal with all of it as it comes. There is no way I am going to smoke over any of it...I have come this far, and I am really feeling much less tense now than I ever have. I think 3/4 of my anxiety issues were related to smoking and I didn't even know it. I think I smoked so much that nothing worked at all, and it put me in a permanante state of tension...and, now that that is going away, I am actually feeling tense free for the first time in 30 years. So, this is all good, but if anyone has any idea's on the weight issues. I am really not willing to let this go on for long, because I am just suppose to focus on not smoking for a long period of time. I don't think eating to much is really related to anything other than my head monster trying to screw around with me because it wants to be fed nicotine, so the sooner I get this under control the better. I don't need another addiction called food...I need food to live and I need to use it properly. Also, if anyone has ever had any issues with their stomach while quitting I would really like to hear about it.
As always, thank you so much for all of the support. I wish I could be of more use to others right now, and that I was here more, but I get so busy that it is hard...So, I really, really appreciate the reminders to stay in with the support here, because i do need it and hope to contribute something as well. Have a wonderful Cinco De Mayo...and, full moon...Luv, Em
