Terminal

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Suppose just for a minute that you have been given that ultimate prognosis. You have weeks to live. Time to get your Bucket List together because this is it!

What would you include on this list? Smoking????

Really???? You want to die trapped in Addiction?

Well, I want to tell you about some EXers I’ve had the true honor to know and about one Exer I never met but came to know through his legacy to BecomeanEX.

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Let’s start with Ray ManOfSteele.

Ray didn’t start out here. He came to BecomeanEx from another site and brought many of his Elder Friends with him.  Ray quit smoking on 04/04/04. He wrote his first Blog here on May 21, 2008 when BecomeanEX was in it’s infancy.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/ManOfSteele-blog/2008/05/22/get-some-love-here-247-365

That’s the kind of Man our Superhero was!

He also brought with him the famous Bonfires and Daily Pledges that to this day save lives!

Giulia created Relapse Traps because of him.

G reminds me that it’s BECAUSE of him, because he brought a bunch of Elders with strong quits and compassion to this, at-the-time fledgling on-line quit support community to pave the way for the next generation of supporters, that it has become what it has become.

 We all have HIM to Thank for that!

Unfortunately, Ray wrote his last blog on June 12, 2009.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/ManOfSteele-blog/2009/06/12/u-can-have-a-smoke-free-life

You see, he passed away – but he never chose to smoke before he passed!

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Doris was a quiet dignified Lady. She was a faithful Friend and calm support to all who knew her.

When Doris wrote her first Blog, she already had 4 Weeks and 3 Days under her belt.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Doris-blog/2009/02/06/giving-up-smoking

She had smoked her last on January 18, 2009 but still didn’t know if she would make it to FREEDOM!

Every Month Doris wrote a Blog for the entire first Year and going back to read them now you can watch an amazing transformation right in front of you! SHE MADE IT!

And she never looked back to the day she passed away on February 4, 2013. Doris had 3 Years of FREEDOM and she lived N.O.P.E. to the end even when her Nephew died of Stage IV Lung Cancer at age 39!

She never gave up or gave in!

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Then there was Dawn. I knew Dawn as a loving Mother , Grandmother  and marvelous Friend. Dawn quit smoking September 17, 2009. Here’s her very first Blog:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Dawn4-blog/2009/09/17/quit-day

Dawn made it a point of encouraging her Friends and never judging them. Her support was pure LOVE! Tommy once said of her:

“Our Dawn was a fine EXample of facing life, and sticking to your commitments!

 During the last year and a half of her life she fought a cancer that has no cure. She knew she was going to die. And she lived in constant pain

. But, never once did she back down from her two big commitments in life. Her faith in God, and her commitment to never smoke again.

 A doctor once asked  her how she knew she would never smoke again, and she replied "Because, I would rather die than smoke another cigarette!". That is commitment!

 As far as her faith, a few weeks before she died, one of her daughters did something that made her proud, and she told me (not for the first time) "I am His favorite, I tell you!" In spite of the pain and suffering she was going through, she still believed she was God's favorite child!”

Dawn wrote her last Blog on April 26, 2012.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Dawn4-blog/2012/04/27/things-that-make-me-go-hmmmmmmmmmmm

Sadly she passed away a few days later on May 14. She never once decided to smoke!

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MamaDeb wrote her first Blog on Day 41 of her quit.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/mamadeb-blog/2010/06/04/need-some-help

Deb was a confusing combination of vegetarian/health nut who smoked! She saw the conflict in values and chose to quit.

I knew MamaDeb better than most I suppose. You see, we had something in common – COPD.  Deb followed Aunt Dee and myself to another site where we focused on emphysema.

 She was always cheerful and optimistic when she wrote. Deb said, “I feel like I could do just about anything!” She believed that we could quit and we did! 

Not once in all the communications I had with Deb did she ever complain! She was so proud of her Family and she became proud of Herself!

As I got to know her, Deb wanted the best for everybody and she was too far down on her own priority list! Even knowing how sick she was, she was seriously considering going back to school to become certified in respiratory care.

This Lady so full of Life and Love and Hopes and Plans for the Future passed away just short of one Year smoke FREE! But she never gave up her Quititude!

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You know you are FREE when you can believe that given the word of your last Earthly days you know in your heart

Not One Puff Ever!

[Deena-A-Yenni]

Wow.

[cheryl102]

thank you! i needed this

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I got her a few months after Ray did. I remember all of these quitters.

We never know when it is our time but why choose to seal our fate with continued damage.

I don't want to suffer trying to get another cigarette.

Smoking tobacco was pure foolishness in the first place. It will have no spot in my last place.

[TigerLadie]

that's how I knew this time was different.... no excuses, NO MATTER WHAT.... that kinda covers everything.... thanks for sharing some of the inspiring stories... I don't want my last thought to be "i need a cigarette"  I want my last moments to be love and freedom.... Thank you Thomas.... always

[elvan]

I was wheeling a patient from an office I worked in back over to the hospital, he was endstage lung cancer, hooked to oxygen and hardly capable of getting a word out because he could not get enough air in.  He knew that I smoked, I am sure he could smell it.  He BEGGED me for a cigarette.  I told him that I could not give him one, I would have been fired, for one thing, but I did not want to watch him smoke that cigarette and know that it would likely be his last.

I was in my 20's then...now I am in my 60's, I hope that he is at peace and that he knows that I think of him when I consider smoking.  I do not want to be fighting to breathe and trying to sneak a smoke simultaneously.  

I told this story to my husband a couple of weeks ago and he thought it was horrible that I did not give the man a cigarette.  I have gone back and forth in my mind with that decision but I am glad I did not give him his last cigarette.  I did not give those nicotine receptors a reason to stand at attention and start tormenting him with a whole new power.  

These stories are humbling and inspiring!  Thank you for sharing them.

[Giulia]

You do them honor, Thomas.  Not only witih this blog but with your own steadfast quit.  Here's to Freedom!

[freeneasy]

My dad had COPD. In the winter he would sit in his car in the driveway with the engine running and smoke because he could not smoke in the house with oxygen tanks-I don't ever want that for me. N.O.P.E.

[Strudel]

Thank you Thomas! This is exactly what I was just explaining to a newbie - none of us know how much time we have left here. Being free means my days will be so much better - no matter how many I have! Thank you for this beautiful remembrance of these fine EX'ers.  

[pir8fan]

A fine tribute to those who have gone and left this a better place! A memorial to the legacy that they left us!

Let us pause for a moment and reflect on these commitments that paved the road to Freedom for so many of us! These are people who laid the track that Freedom Train runs on! Let us show our respect by honoring our own commitments as strongly as they honored theirs!

Thank you for this Thomas! I leave some tear stains upon this page!!

[linda.mustafa]

God bless their souls .

[Sootie]

Thomas....there are no words for this blog.

Thank you for recalling them to our minds and for your loving tribute.

[JoAnne5-14-2008]

Bro Thomas - As I read your very special, heartfelt blog, I find that I have tears in my eyes as I remember these very loving people whom I never met in person but who touched my heart so deeply as if I really met them in person.  I will start with my superhero Manofsteele.  What an amazing, kind, caring, supportive person he was to me when I first joined the Ex team.  (smiling).  Because of everything he posted, the games he invented, the support groups, blogs, etc. I am smoke free for six years.  I came here every day to read what my superhero had posted.  What a legacy he left behind.  In memory of my dear friend Doris - she was well established in her quit and then bad news.  She sent me a special message informing me of her illness.  We communicated up until I received the news of her passing.  She was dedicated and determined to stay quit.  She leaves behind a loving legacy as well.  Ms. Dawn was another determined and dedicated member of Ex.  She wrote blogs that helped support all of us here as well as sent kind and loving graphics to pick us up daily.  Her passing too was a shock and very sad.  MamaDeb, R.I.P. as well.  I didn't get a chance to know you but you too have left your mark behind.  The message I want to leave for those who think they have time to quit smoking, think again.  Make up your mind to do so now.  I am well established in my quit, but I still come here because of the friendships that are created and maybe to help someone who think that they can't succeed.  YOU CAN QUIT.  MAKE YOUR MIND UP TODAY.  Tomorrow is not promosed.  (Hugs)