Tale of a very odd and unique smoker's scenario

[wwjd4132]

My name is wwjd4132 (or Jeff),

Looking for someone who can relate to the following:

Smoke most any day I can get away with it. Usually 3 to five if I have a pack on hand. Or 1-2 if I bum from stranger. Smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds a day from age 18 until age 32. Got married and was hypnotized at the urging of my wife to quit. Did not work, although I convinced her it did. Ended up smoking when I could for the next 29 years (driving alone, home alone, working alone...whatever). Used gum and other items to mask odor and breath. She found hidden cigs multiple times. She found ashes on car seat, dashboard, noticed smell in car on occasion. I would tell her I quit and then resume the deception. This went on for years. I swore I wasn't smoking. She loves me so much that she would try to believe me, and then I would let her down again. She caught me today. She has no faith in me as I don't either. I continued to break her trust. Other than that, I am a great husband, father and grandfather. I am at my wits end. Even If I manage to quit, she may never believe it again. 

Imagine someone trying to quit that doesn't even smoke on a regular basis. It is almost as if my trigger is a deire to have a part of my life be a secret to all. I have kept this a secret, as my wife and my three sons and daughter are the only ones who know I have a problem, I am seeing my doctor on Monday and asking him to put me on something that has no nicotine in it. I tried chantix once and it made me crazy. My wife is afraid I will get cancer someday also. this has got to stop. Maybe I will also call 800-quit-now. Something's gotta give, and as melodramtic as this may sound, I am slowing losing the will to live in this condition. I just want it all to go away. SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-...

[JonesCarpeDiem]

since you believe you are getting away with something when you smoke, you better figure out something else to be getting away with. 🙂 something positive.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Wow, you are the first member in the 700thousands I've seen. Congratulations

[wwjd4132]

 Not quite sure what the below comment means. Am I the 700,000th member? If so, do I get a prize. Or was this a more insidious or sarcastic statement, kinda like......"Wow, you are the first one to ever have an issue with smoking." Please clarify.

Wow, you are the first member in the 700thousands I've seen.
Congratulations

[wwjd4132]

Oh, wait a minute. Did you mean the first one who posted a profile pic?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

No, if you go to your page and then look up in the address bar, it shows you what your member number is. You are the first to pass the 700 thousand mark that I have seen.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Anyway, welcome. You look like a happy guy! We all want to help you stay that way as you journey out of smoking.

[wwjd4132]

Thanks, man.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

It is not uncommon for folks to come here and believe THEY have the most difficult time quitting.  It can or can't be true - it's ALL up to you!  You are working to rid yourself of an addiction - and you must decide to do it and honor that decision.  That is ALL there is to it!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested on this site

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around your head alone.  Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[Giulia]

We can all relate to your scenario, Jeff.  In one way or another.  Not odd at all.  And yes, perhaps keeping smoking a little secret gave you jollies.  (Or perhaps that was the excuse?)  Time to find them elsewhere now - the jollies.  Whether your wife believes you from here on out is moot.  The point is,  smoking is now driving you crazy enough to want to do something about it.  And that's GOOD!  Even if it might be for the wrong reason (having to sneak and an unhappy wife).  But how can there be a wrong reason to quit?  There can't and there isn't. 

Read as much as you can on here and you'll find the tools necessary to overcome this addiction.  Whether you smoke five or fifty a day, the quitting process is the same.  Nicodemon is an equal opportunity deceiver.  If I can help, click on my G and leave a message on my message board.   Glad you've joined us.  Stick around!

[joedice711]

hi jeff.... welcome keep coming back and reading every chance you get. the people on this site are very supportive.  i,m fairly new here with 49 smoke free days. this site is part of the reason this quit is working plus i,m strongly commited to not smoke.