Hello friends and fellow Exers, just wanted you to know that I won't be here much in the upcoming weeks (Happy Holidaze!!!!) because of my need to focus on my family (daughter having surgery next Friday), my face-to-face community (my church is FINALLY having a potluck again next week and its first ever Christmas Choir, which I get to be a member of), and myself (MY surgery on December 20th). I am going to decorate for Christmas this year and need to take precautions going up and down my stairs, in and out of my shed, etc., since I kinda "tweaked" my knee 10 days ago and so need to be extra careful so I'm in good shape for my surgery. My ex will be in town for my daughter's surgery and his arrival was a former trigger of mine (lost a 10-month quit over it years ago).
So....a lot going on, life on life's terms, and many things that would have had me caving and running to the local liquor store to buy me a yellow pack of American Spirits...already regretting my decision on the drive to the store, but thinking I needed to "follow through" since the decision to relapse had already been made. That's called "stinkin' thinkin'" by the way...I could have turned the car around AT ANY TIME!
I've been a member of EX for over 12 years. Many attempts to quit; just as many (less one) relapses. THE DIFFERENCE THE LAST TIME IS THAT I CAME HERE TO EX TO BLOG ABOUT WHAT I WAS FEELING INSTEAD OF IGNORING THAT OPTION AND RELAPSING.
SINCE I'M COMING UP ON FOUR YEARS ON JANUARY 7TH, I'M PRETTY SURE I WON'T BE GOING DOWN THE RELAPSE PATH THIS TIME (THERE ARE MENTAL 'STEPS' TO RELAPSING...I KNOW THEM VERY WELL), BUT IF I FEEL MYSELF GOING DOWN THAT SPIRAL TO MAKING A REALLY BAD DECISION, I WILL COME HERE FIRST. NO PROBLEM! DONE IT BEFORE AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN.
NEWBIES....DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THE HOLIDAYS ARE A SLIPPERY SLOPE FOR MOST QUITTERS. EAT, DRINK, BE MERRY...AND SMOKE????? PARTYING WITH SMOKERS????? FAMILY GET TOGETHERS...WITH SMOKERS???? Thank God, those of us in my family (ex included) have quit. Folks at my church don't smoke, or at least not at church. Haven't heard from my former best friend--who still smokes I'm sure--in months, so that former trigger no longer exists. I pray for her, but the last time we spoke she said she never intended to quit, and she had a horrible cough on the phone, so maybe she's on oxygen now and doesn't want me to know? I don't know, but she has stopped communicating with me...our paths have diverged...I've mourned that loss....and moved on...I handle my emotions now without nicotine...what a huge difference!!!!
My point is, be diligent, be aware, be smart, avoid temptation, not one puff ever, alcohol is a major cause of relapse, come here to blog before you make a bad decision that you will regret. Give yourself that chance to really break free of this horrible addiction. THIS IS THE BEST SUPPORT GROUP I HAVE EVER JOINED AND EX IS THE REASON I'M SMOKEFREE TODAY. Use this wonderful life-giving, life-affirming resource!!!!
I've never had surgery before but have faced my fears and am ready to "get 'er done in '21". I'm glad my ex will be in town to help my daughter with her surgery. (Glad he'll be in town? Wow, how times have changed!). My daughter who didn't speak to me for years is going to be my caretaker and our relationship has healed during this last quit. Lots of things have healed during this quit. There is way more good to be found in quitting nicotine than just getting rid of the physical addiction. I continue to be surprised, pleased, and exceedingly grateful of the blessings and emotional maturity that come with getting the nicotine monkey off my back.
Being (and staying) an EX is the best Christmas gift you could ever give yourself.
Cheers and have a Merry (Hanukkah, too!) and definitely a Happy...I know I'll be checking in...can't stay away for long 🙂
Just remember:
Peace and Joy to all, Bonnie ~1421 Days of Freedom
Taking an EX Break
Let's take a break from reality!
Taking a break
