I know various people read my blog posts. Some are people I've been chatting with a bit over the last month, and some are new or people who don't know me at all. If you are new- I wanna say this site and the people will really help you and your quit. Everyone has been very supportive to me, and I have so many issues going on right now-more than I can handle.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm making some extreme changes-started school, quitting smoking, watching my health-well unfortunately it has begun to decline at a rapid pace very recently. I have many things in my life that are unsolved issues and things that are currently making me very unhappy (my health being one of them- I was very sick again today). I have no health care, so I spent most my day trying to get counseling for my head and trying to locate some free or affordable health care services. And, I've recently found out I need to get a job and pay child support through the state. The fruits of my efforts always seem to turn to sour grapes! I have no problem supporting my kids and off the books I make sure their needs are covered one way or another-including doing online surveys for cash to get them things. Problem is I think I'm too ill at this point to work outside the house, I'm doing full time online college and I'm Dean's List for the 8 months I've been enrolled-but even with that my health is starting to interfere more and more. It makes me very "Blue" that I've finally started to show effort with positive changes to make my life better than what it is now and in the past, but my health is getting bad and everything seems to be hampering my efforts.
Reguardless, thanks to this site and all the people on it-I've held onto my quit though it has been tough at times. Since the last couple of days have been rougher-I am back to chewing on pieces of drinking straws. -But still haven't smoked. Smoking just makes me want to smoke more- It really didn't take away stress-it was just an expensive and hazzardous bad habit. Biting on straws takes away more stress than smoking did. Besides to smoke now would make my health even worse. My Fibromyalgia is giving me hell with my sinuses today and as of lately-which smoking negatively effects sinuses too. My circulation is crappy-smoking restricts circulation. You get the picture-goes on and on. I would say I'm finally a quitter for good, Monday was the ultimate test-Major stress, anxiety attack and a cigarette in my hand-But I passed I did not smoke or even light it!
