Well it has been 149 days since I quit smoking. I find myself more grateful for every single day that I have now. I never realized how amazing it would feel after the initial troubles with quitting. Now there are times that I feel limitless. The thing that still surprises me is that when its going really bad and im having my lowest days I am never craving a cigarette in the tough times. I honestly can't see me going back to smoking. The best thing I've found is to find former smokers and all talk about what it was that finally made each person quit. A week ago or two when me and my mom were on a walk one day...probably 10 days ago. Anyways we saw one of our neighbors at the end of the street we've known my whole life. And we all were talking about how we now understand how offensive of an odor cigarettes are and when we were smoking we figured people could find other entrances...I can't be around people smoking because it coughs and it is so obvious that it is offensive to me to where it's actually very offensive to other people. But just more proof, even though none was needed. That this is my forever quit and there is nothing that can take it away from me. I have received dentures and it is definitely taking some getting use to, difficult to eat with them. It's a learning process. I have to admit it does improve my self esteem...but its also taking a little getting use to. I talked to the disability Lawyer...My hearing is on February 9th 2015. That's a huge blow. Because this will be the first of any interaction with the judge. He doesn't want to (he being lawyer) start any pretrial stuff before december. Essentially only have 2 months to prep everything. I was told I have to get some records from the clinic which is going to cost me money...i was like uhhh okay... and just dropped it. I really don't think I'm going to like this lawyer he seems like pretty much a straight up asshole. It doesn't help the guy has the same name as my ex. Probably doesn't spell it the same way. But this guy seems pretty flakey...took me like almost three weeks to get anything out of him.
Every day we make it through here it is a miracle, I am so serious. I can not stand living here. I hate this place so much. My dad just, its so hard because he's my biggest trigger and he won't be doing anything but i have all of this anger that I want to scream out but i cant do that because all the neighbors know him and they would be like what the hell is wrong with him? and anyways. UNICORNS. Had to think of something happy. Okay, im going to close this for tonight! again 149 Days woOoOooOoHooooooooooo
