Starting Again

[annimarlee]

OK.  It's a new day - a new month - a new me.  A new QUIT.  Day one.  My chest and lungs are raw and ragged.  I have my patch on, so I am not craving too much at this point.  I've only been awake for about 7 hours though.  It's usually harder for me in the evenings.  Not going to have any alcohol at all this time.  Too risky.  Feeling very confident this time.  I have a QUIT BUDDY - my boyfriend.  Encouragement and support is a good thing.  I am somewhat ashamed and down on myself for the sheer number of times I have had to go back to square one - wondering why this habit is so stubborn.  I've sure had it a long time.  I know that I have got to get it into my head and heart that I hate cigarettes and that they are nasty if I am going to be successful and happy with this.  That conviction has eluded me so far.  Even on my one 7-year quit, I never quit loving the smell.  I hope I can find that aversion this time.