Well, back to square one. But this time, DH is joining me on the crazy train. I feel like going through it together will be difficult, but also built-in support. We both need to and want to do this.
Since I last checked in, there have been 2 diagnosis of cancer in my family, and an additional probable-diagnosis.... Two of my aunts on my mother's side are now battling cancer! We have such a horrible family history. One Aunt died when I was younger from breast cancer. (Smoker/drinker) Then another aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer - and reached remission stage for at least a year (non-smoker or drinker) She is now the probable-diagnosis aunt... they have found holes in her brain (!) that could have come from a number of causes... she's hallucinating a lot. So, we don't have a cancer diagnosis on her yet, but... probably. The two recent aunts have been diagnosed within a week of each other - one was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer, and has just undergone extensive surgery. They think they were able to remove the cancer. She's still recovering from surgery as of today. The other recent diagnosis was another aunt with breast cancer - don't know what stage. Sh already has COPD and was on oxygen. (Smoker, drinker). So. Wow. A lot of cancer activity going on. And both of my grandparents dies of cancer on that side - Gma had originally ovarian, but it got widespread quickly after chemo started. And Gpa had lung cancer (HEAVY smoker who had quit, probably a lot of 2nd hand smoek for Gma...)
Needless to say, this is tearing my mother up.... she's really freaking out due to all the new stress. And so first and foremost, I am quitting for me. And my immediate family. And my health. And longevity. But also for her - just to have one less cancer patient to worry about someday.
I won't say *Wish me luck*, because luck isnt going to cut it. I know that. It's going to suck. But it's actually going to be awesome, because I will see how strong I am. My body will heal. Mine and DH's... I can't wait to breathe easier! It's a relief to be done.
