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Share your quitting journey

So, so sorry

elvan
Member
5 33 434

I have been really, really sick.  I aspirated a sesame seed on Monday before I needed to leave for the train station to pick up my daughter.  I coughed and gagged and vomited and I was absolutely terrified because I could not get it up...I have also been recovering from this stupid rib issue so it was HELL which is putting it mildly.  I needed to be at the train station by 9:30 and I wanted to leave really early so I would not have to drive in the dark.  The train station is an hour and a quarter from here and I planned to do some shopping and just sort of relax once I got there.  I ran into a terrible rain storm about half an hour into my drive and my phone started ringing.  I NEVER answer the phone when I am driving and there was no way I could safely get off the road in that storm.  Just served to make me more nervous.  The train was over 3 hours late so I was at the train station...which was CLOSED.  It was, of course, dark and I did not want to leave and try to find my way back so I sat there and then got out and walked a bit...I had to pee so badly that I was afraid I might have an "accident" before she arrived but, thank GOD, I did not.  We did not get home until really late and  I slept most of Tuesday because I was simply exhausted.  The sound coming from my chest was alarming...sounded like a small trapped animal squeaking.  I had to have my son get me nebulizer tubing because mine somehow got separated from my nebulizer...no idea HOW.  I used the nebulizer every 2-4 hours, along with rescue inhaler and gallons of OJ or water...also took a swig of whiskey to see if I could settle the spasm.  I woke up yesterday, early in the morning, vomiting and I kept that up until last night.  I slept between vomiting.  My family wanted to take me to the hospital but I really did not feel like I could get up to go...the hospital where my pulmonologist practices is 45 minutes away.  I HATE the ER at our local hospital...I did manage to take a shower at some point.  I think that helped me some...I slept some last night and I feel much better today.  I am incredibly sore but I am upright.  I had been going and going nonstop to get ready for this visit and I am sure that played into my aspirating the sesame seed...no more sesame seed bagels for me...EVER!

Again, I am so sorry to have worried people, thanks for the direct messages.  I will get back up to my "normal" activity as soon as I can.

Love you all,

Ellen

Tags (1)
33 Comments
kristen-9-7-15

Take care of yourself Ellen!

Roller831
Member

Oh wow!  PLEASE take care of yourself!!!  Glad all is ok, relatively speaking.

Christine13
Member

Please, take it easy, if your family wants to take you to ER let them.  This is serious!

Love you.

xo

Praying for you.

TW517
Member

You poor thing!  I'm so, so sorry you are having all these troubles!  Missed you.  Thanks for checking in.

RachelMB
Member

Thinking of you Miss Ellen.  Glad you are somewhat ok.. xoxoxo

Rachel

MarilynH
Member

Humongous BUT very gentle loving hugs coming your way sweet Ellen, please, please, please take EXtra care of yourself XO love you sweetie you must rest your body so it can heal XO, if you don't look after yourself nobody else can do it for you as much as we want to we just can't so you have to for yourself as well as for all of us that love you sending up good thoughts and prayers for you for strength and healing and peace of mind. XO 

Sandy-9-17-17
Member

Oh Ellen, What a trying time you have had!  I will pray for you to receive some healing comfort soon!  I do love reading your comments, and am so happy to hear from you!  Rest easy my friend!

Don't over do!    I know this is easier said than done sometimes, but  you need to rest!

Sandy

Barb102
Member

Oh Ellen. I’m so sorry for what you went through. Please please take care of yourself. You must rest and get stronger. You are in my heart and prayers. Love and hugs

Barb

Lisaml
Member

Oh Ellen - that sounds dreadful. I’m so very sorry! Rest and please get better soon!!! Xoxo 

Pops
Member

My God woman!  You are about as frail as a 20 year old saltine cracker...!!!! You have to be extremely careful with yourself these days.  We are not spring chickens anymore...neither you...or I.  So please take it easy and be vigilant for the unexpected.  What is normal behavior for some, is no longer our luxury.  We have to keep a watchful eye out for all of the different potential hazards that may be lying in wait for us....Get plenty of rest, and don't worry about us.  We will be fine, and we will anxiously await your return.  

xoxoxoxo Pops w/35 DOF

indingrl
Member

I love you so much and and thanked God he has you in his care in our Lord Jesus name amen

Giulia
Member

Let somebody take care of YOU for a change.  May the remainder of your time with your daughter be quiet and gentle.

Deena-A-Yenni
Member

Glad you're okay.

Bree19
Member

Hey there Ellen elvan

So very sorry for your awful experience - I can't even imagine the pain in your ribs from being sick and from coughing.

I'm so happy to see your message though.

Take great care of yourself - I know you will enjoy and treasure your mom/daughter time.

Love and blessings

Bree

Mandolinrain
Member

I just posted that your daughter was in town visiting before I saw this post. I was not sure how much info you were handing out. You know I love you my friend. I'll be in touch and keeping prayers going strong for you. xoxoxo

Barbscloud
Member

Ellen, sorry you had such a bad experience. Are you sure you aspirated?  That's very serious and not something that is self-treating.

c2q
Member

missellen
Member

Oh, Ellen, I am so sorry to read this.  I'm glad you're feeling a bit better and I hope you feel even better today and can enjoy your visit.  Please take care.  

--Ellen

GyorgyiM
Member

Just saw this post.  I hope you are feeling better...so sorry.....

Miles of smiles......

elvan
Member

kristen-9.7.15, roller831‌, Christine13‌, TW517, RachelMB‌, MarilynH‌, Sandy-9-17-17, Barb102‌, Lisaml‌, Pops‌, indingrl‌, Giulia‌, deena-a-yenni, Bree19‌, Mandolinrain‌, Barbscloud‌, c2q‌, missellen‌, GyorgyiM‌   Many thanks for all of the good wishes and thoughts.  I am doing much better, I am certainly less energetic than usual but I will get back there.  I am drinking TONS of fluids, using my inhalers as directed and taking it very easy today.  I plan to work tomorrow but I told them that I MIGHT not be able to complete the shift, we will see how I feel.  My eyes feel like they are full of sand at the moment but my breathing is significantly improved.  I really think the nebulizer was a life saver.

Thanks again,

Love,

Ellen

Lisaml
Member

May I be so bold as to suggest you take tomorrow off? You’ve had a series of setbacks and the rest might do you good...

nurses are the WORST patients...       lol!!!

MarilynH
Member

I agree with Lisaml 100 % You need to rest your body so it'll have a chance to heal you don't need anymore setbacks xo.

JonesCarpeDiem

I'm sorry for you.

Christine13
Member

Glad you are doing somewhat better today.  Please be careful with you.  Glad you are drinking lots of fluids.

Work?  nooooo.............stay home and rest.

BHnCA
Member

I am sorry for what you've been enduring. Although nowhere as severe as what you have experienced, I know how frightening it is going through something like that. I hate the ER too and, like you, will put off going there forever, in spite of my kids's urging. After my surgery in March, I had a terrible time recovering like I was told I would. Thanks to this site and others, I learned that smoking was hindering my recovery, which was probably my greatest incentive to QUIT. Your story, like so many others on this site, has encouraged me to make that choice. I slipped yesterday, but started another quit today. So please know that all you've shared continues to reinforce my choice. I wish you all the best. REST. REST. REST.

Giulia
Member

Ditto take tomorrow off.  Give yourself a wee bit of a chance to rest.  Glad your breathing has improved.  May it continue to do so.

Mandolinrain
Member

Amen to that.

Strudel
Member

My God Ellen - unbelievable - I am so sorry you had to deal with all of that!! Please - PLEASE - get some rest and feel better soon! Take it easy kiddo! 

elvan
Member

LisamlMarilynH , JonesCarpeDiem‌, Christine13‌, BHnCA , Giulia‌, Mandolinrain‌, Strudel‌ I NEED to work...sad as it sounds, I really NEED to work.  I may not stay for the entire shift.  It really will be better for me psychologically to get out of the house.  I really AM the world's worst patient...it is why my COPD is so bad.  I am working hard at taking care of myself...my back is not happy with me spending so much time in bed.  I am hoping that being up and walking around will help...my daughter already took my "bag" in for me, I have notes in it and drinks (she put those in the fridge there) and I know that the cafe has been really, really busy this week and my son and daughter in law are about ready to fall over.  One employee called in for the entire week because her car broke down and she lives quite a distance from the cafe.  She is also pregnant, she had some sort of birth control device that was implanted and was supposed to be 99.99% effective. SURPRISE!

Love you all...going to have to get off soon, need to sleep tonight, have not been doing well at that for a while.  You really are the BEST!

Ellen

Barb102
Member

Please Ellen get some rest and pretend that you are someone you need to help on this site. You have to take care of yourself too. If you are not well you can’t help others. I know you don’t take care of you. Please take care of you for me. Get sleep now. I hug you with my prayers

BRb

Giulia
Member

Some day I hope you find a different job that pays you the same amount of money but that doesn't cost you physically.  IF you want it.  I know it's probably preferable to work with family members you love.  Hope you sleep well!

Lisaml
Member

That is the kindest, gentlest thing I’ve ever heard. “I hug you with prayers” 

oh, Barb that brought me to tears. Simply so kind... what a blessing you are. 

Barb102
Member

Oh wow thank you so much. I feel helpless to help her   You are a blessing too. So glad we are on this journey together

About the Author
Retired RN, worked ICU/ER developed RA in early 90's, unable to work because of brittle bones from high dose steroids. Diagnosed with COPD 5 yrs ago but sure it was there and progressing long before. Live with severe chronic pain, degenerative disc disease, had both upper lobes of my lungs removed in 2015. Struggle with shortness of breath. Work in son's cafe as a cashier 2 days a week to be around people. I am a people/animal person. Lost my home and three cats in a fire on my ten month anniversary of quitting smoking. Never thought of smoking, knew it wouldn't help anything.