I updated my profile..I just changed a few things to past tense. When I first wrote it, I was just starting my quit. I wrote things like I was still smoking, because I hadn't been stopped long enough to think it counted. Now I'm stopped. I've been stopped. And it counts! I haven't smoked in over two weeks!
I remember the jonesen for a smoke. The fear of being without smokes. It was like a phobia! Always trying to make sure that I never ran out of smokes! The planning. The special trips to buy cigs. I remember the cravings that got me so bad at times when I was in a predicament of some sort where or when I couldn't smoke. They were miserable. Those are the feelings that I thought I would have when I tried to quit smoking. I thought I would suffer so bad that it would be unbearable. I was terrified of quitting smoking! Really! I was! But, look, here I am! Still kicking! Still breathing! And not any crazier than I was before!
I already feel soooo much better. It feels good to know that I finally got past the hard part. The hard part of just doing it--of just quitting. And I am not going to smoke ever again. I don't want to have to go through the stress of having to quit again. The thinking of quitting...the whole dang process of quitting. What a pain. And it really hasn't been so hard. Not that I have finally gotten through it. Jeeze! I have tried to quit a few times, and every time I gave into the urges. I just go right through them now. Screw smoking. I am done with that. Smoking is so stupid. I was stupid for being stupid. I'm not stupid anymore!! Am I smart now?? I must be! Yep! I'm smart now! HA!!
I have heard people say that now that they have stopped smoking they wish that they would of stopped long before. They said it wasn't so hard once you get through the first few days. Now I understand what they meant. Jeeze. They are right. I should of stopped a long time ago. I guess I wasn't ready. ((I've heard that one before too.)) It feels so good to be ready. To be done. No more! Never !
I know an old guy that has chronic lung issues. He has stopped smoking a bunch of times, but always starts again. I talked to him a couple of years ago about smoking. He was on some new stop smoking drug..He gave me pointers on quitting. I remember him telling me that he could smell my cig when I drove by his house one day. I really like that old guy. He has been homebound for years because of his health issues. His wife brings him his cigs. I don't think he has been to a store in years. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him outside putzing around with all of his old stuff that he has heaped in his yard. (He likes old things.) Some people complain about it, but I don't mind. He has some neat things---trees growing through some of it, but hey, to each his own! I hope he is still around. hmmmm
So, ya...
no cigs! yuck They are DeeeSkustinG! They make me cough and hack and stink. They cost money that I could be using on beauty products, nutrional supplements, yummy healthy snacks, Botox, gas, loan payment, boob job or two, a manicure and pedicure or a gym membership. A new swimsuit! A plane ticket to get off of this rock! A bikini waxing! Dirty magazines! Something useless or something useful. But not on something that makes me feel and look like crap!
YA! So go me!
