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Share your quitting journey

Smoking has zero appeal for me

JonesCarpeDiem
Member
3 8 218
2 weeks ago

Life has changed radically since I had to put Hoggie down. Pets are so dependent and add so much to your life.

the one person from my life who can truly relate to this particular loss is my second wife. She helped his mother birth his litter 2 feet behind me.

we haven’t spoken since our daughters wedding 10 years ago but our daughter reconnected us after Hoggie passed.

it really helps to have someone to talk with at night.

I am at the nursing home to see my dad who is in PT. He has sounded pretty despondent the past two nights. I know he wants to leave this earth and at 97, I can’t blame him.

After just losing Hoggie, it would be pretty devastating to me.
Here I sit, life is changing every day. My arms are all beat up from dismantling Hoggies place. I’ve finally decided on a fix for the staircase his place was attached to. I’ve had to make multiple medical appointments for a possible surgery.

I crashed my truck and had to have $1600 of just mechanical work to make it driveable.

Everything happens at once.

Oh for better times

IMG_2733.jpeg

 

No smoking for me. 
Life is short

I don’t do that anymore!

 

8 Comments
Barbscloud
Member
2 weeks ago

@JonesCarpeDiem Have been there  many times.  There will always be a void with the pets that we've lost over the years.  You can never replace them, but you can share that special connection again that only a human and animal can experience.   Hope you can find that connection again. I know I have.

Barb

biscuit9
Member
2 weeks ago

Dale, I am glad you know that nic is not the answer, never the answer.  You are going through alot, a whole lot.  I know Hoggie had the best life ever and the best "human daddy" possible.  I know it's hard to climb out of a deep hole, but sadness is not a good place to stay in, ever.  Sending a virtual hug your way and hoping you can put a smiile on your daddy's face or someone's face.  "Life goes on Indy".  

ReallyReal
Member
2 weeks ago

Dear Dale, @JonesCarpeDiem , the climate of loss is so difficult to live in for very long. Sometimes I have been known to settle into it  and make it my home for longer that was helpful to me.  Your loss is fresh, and you've had some very difficult circumstances but  I am hoping your weather will improve, that there will be some moments of rejoicing in the midst of the sorrow.  Wishing you well.

Maki
Member
2 weeks ago

Grieving takes time for the loss of a human , the loss of a pet , the loss of our health , even yes , as you well know the loss of our addiction as well .  Give it time Dale . 
You certainly have had a lot on your plate , truck crash , btw glad you are ok , Hoggie passing , taking care of your dad , your concern about his health , your own medical problems and now maybe more surgery , that’s a lot . You have all this on your plate and still your message here is so very strong . 

“ No smoking for me. 
Life is short

I don’t do that anymore!” 


I remember my grand pups passing Dale and how that put a hole in my heart too for some time after they passed . There was a void even in my house for a long time and I never had them 24/7 like you have had Hoggie , or my family member their cat and dog .

I can say though because I too lost a pet of my own  ( a Labrador )  when I was quite young , my best friend , one I told everything …. that in time that void heals . That lab came to me for a reason , loved and cared for as much as He cared for me . His job was finished . All the blessings I’ll never forget .  This will pass Dale .. I promise you …

 

 …. remember time is the healer . 

          

indingrl
Member
2 weeks ago

Gentle hugs dear Dale

Prayers continue my dear friend @JonesCarpeDiem 

My hubby sister died April 13 ex smoker died of brain cancer

Life on life's terms is handle with nope nope nope for me too

Thanks for sharing I appreciate you @JonesCarpeDiem 

Barbara145
Member
2 weeks ago

Thinking about you Dale.  You have a full plate.  So sorry about your lose of Hoggie. One day at a time as you feel your feelings and look for a ray of sunshine.  Be Blessed.

CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager
2 weeks ago

Hang in there @JonesCarpeDiem! Sending positive thoughts your way.

Quiana, EX Team

SuzyQ411
Member
2 weeks ago

@JonesCarpeDiem 

big hearts. big hugs.jpg

Am sending caring hugs your way.

You are a sweet gentle man with a tender heart.

I am happy you are getting emotional support from your ex-wife.

Your plate is heaped at this time.

But I just know you can work your way through all of this.

In the meantime, I hope you gain strength from the love your EX family has for you.

❤️ 

 

About the Author
Hello, My name is Dale. I was quit 18 months before joining this site and had participated on another site during that time. I learned a lot there and brought it with me. I joined this site the first week of August 2008. I didn't pressure myself to quit. HOW I QUIT I didn't count, I didn't deny myself to get started. When I considered quitting (at a friends request to influence his brother to quit), I simply told myself to wait a little longer. No denial, nothing painful. After 4 weeks I was down to 5 cigarettes from a pack a day. The strength came from proving to myself, I didn't need to smoke because I normally would have smoked. Simple yes? I bought the patch. I forgot to put one on on the 4th day. I needed it the next day but the following week I forgot two days in a row I put one in my wallet with a promise to myself that I would slap it on and wait an hour rather than smoke. It rode in my wallet my first year.There's nothing keeping any of you from doing this. It doesn't cost a dime. This is about unlearning something you've done for a long time. The nicotine isn't the hard part. Disconnecting from the psychological pull, the memories and connected emotions is. :-) Time is the healer.