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Seven years ago today, I didn't quit

maryfreecig
Member
9 31 194

How sweet this day is to me. This time in September seven years ago I decided to quit. Smoking was never the same for me for the next two and a half weeks until I quit.  I knew the only way to quit was to mean business about it--that I'd have to do my best--just because I knew I had to walk the walk didn't mean that I felt certain I'd quit, or that knew I would. I didn't know. But it meant that I'd try with everything I had or could learn or find to help me quit. Everything. Resources were not scarce--I wrote a plan, a goodbye letter, watched youtube videos of quit stories. I quit cold turkey. I did not trust myself, so I doubled up on ideas, tricks, bought props (candy, books) to help.

That was seven years ago. All that prep work was what I needed to do to get myself ready to deal with change. I'd pretended that I didn't care about quitting for many decades (I was scared, didn't know how, didn't believe I could), and then one sweet day, a beautiful September day in 2013, I dared to believe that I could. 

Dang, I did it!!! Hey, early self, as addicted as you were, clinging to every puff (even smoked a broken cigarette--one of my last ones)--you got it right. Your dare was good. One day at a time, yes we can.

31 Comments
About the Author
Quitter Version 9.25 Years smober as of January 9, 2023. Age 64. Yeah! Well I made it through some pretty tough quit-smoking tangles, and now am happily smoke free. But the start of my cigarette quit was not glorious. It could have been with some other version of me (maybe my younger self--20 something) taking the journey. But, I had to quit with the version that was available back in 2013. I could not wait until I was entirely sure that I would quit, or until I was entirely happy about quitting. I had to grab the willingness that came out of the blue one day in September of that year and run with it. And so I did. Nicotine addiction is a puzzling addiction. I've heard many say that they just can't stop (some of these folks have serious heart or lung trouble). It isn't the kind of addiction that leaves you plastered as with alcohol or other drugs--so that once you sober up, you realize how overtaken you were by the stuff. Nicotine works different than that. It co-opts your person, while at the same time allowing you to stay conscious and even alert. It's kinda like those science fiction tales in which an alien attaches itself to the spine of an individual...and she has no idea of the danger lurking within. You really discover how you've been preyed upon once you try to quit. Then the evil nature of the alien comes to the forefront making quitting seem like a horror rather than a rescue from horror. Some may argue that the smoker understands the danger. I argue the opposite; most smokers begin smoking by the age of 18, and have hardly had enough life experience to understand what addiction really means, and so they are overtaken by a force far greater than they can understand. By the time the smoker really wants to quit, the addiction has blossomed and grown in a most grotesque way. No one deserves this addiction. Maybe, someday society will finally do the right thing and ban the sale of tobacco, leaving it up to the individual alone to grow, dry and smoke the stuff herself, though never allowed to sell it. I made it--as of today--but how I wish all smokers would find their way to quitting. https://quittinthesmokes.blogspot.com/