Impulsively, I had decided yesterday morning would be my quit date. I had NRT patches and lozenges on hand and began using them. What followed was a day of doubt, barely hanging on, and a sleepless night. I hadn't been keeping a journal of when I smoked, or made a list of reasons to quit, triggers, let alone mentally prepared myself to take on those challenges. I'm not going to consider that a failure, but a learning experience. I had thought that (like the rest of my family) I could just decide I was done. Unfortunately, my addictive tendencies are the strongest in my bloodline. That doesn't mean I'm hopeless, but it does mean I'm going to have to put in more work than they did.
My new quit date is February 4th, which means I have two weeks to taper, identify cravings and possible alternate activities. I have a recording of something like a hypnosis I'm going to be listening to while winding down for the night, hopefully instead of my before bed cigarette. The lists I've made today alone trying to white knuckle through the day will be helpful, but they're only the beginning. I'm hoping this blog will give me some accountability, as well as remind me of my plans and goals, and maybe even hopefully someday even help someone else in their journey.
February 4th will be a new day, a new chapter in carong for myself and my loved ones, and the beginning of a journey which will give me back control of my life.
