Second Day...and have to start over

[pamela38]

This sucks!  I managed to get 23 hours under my belt, and blew it when I could not overcome the trigger (getting home after work). So, I drove to the store and bought a pack of cigarettes.  What a disgusting feeling.  I even sat in the parking lot of the store and said outloud to myself "do you really want to do this?"  Ultimately, the devil won over.  I got home and lit up, and it tasted horrible, and literally made me sick to my stomach.  Yet, I had 1 and a half more after that.  Then, when I got out of bed this morning, I went outside and had half of one.  I left those dirty nasty things at home so I can't fall into temptation today.  Fortunately, I have a 1 hour commute each way, so it'll put some time in between and hopefully give me some much needed perspective about what the hell I am doing to my body, mind and soul!

[james41]

Wish we knew a little about you're smoking history, would help us to help you, your age, age you started, how many cigarettes per day for how long?

Once you make the DECISION to quit you'll get stronger everyday.

Keep reading blogs and you'll see your not unique in any one given situation, we've all been there.

Have you researched the drug addiction? just type in quitting, smoking cessation or any related term and you'll get plenty of info on what you're up against.

I read Allen Carrs "The Easy Way" for a happy non- miserable quit

Peace to you, I'm James "The Happy Quitter" , quit over 9 months after 2 packs a day for 36 years

[europa76]

Pamela,

Please don't beat yourself up anymore. This quit is not easy for anyone! And what you did is perfectly understandable and from my perspective......I'm envious!  What I mean is, its so easy to just give in to your addiction, BUT the best thing that has come of this is that you owned up to your mistake. You felt guilt, remorse and illness. That'll teach you!  And you informed your fellow quitters that you had a relapse. You will see just how many people are going to respond to you about this in a positive light.. You will see how important it is to not only feed off of the positive reinforcement of others twords YOU, but how you are helping others by admitting your faults. Be proud Pamela and continue with your quest. Just get right back on track and quit again. And keep doing it till you can handle the whole concept and the physical discomfort. It is not as bad as you are going to imagine. Think of the new things awaiting you as a smoke-free person. The exercise, the breathing, AND the money you will save!! Thats my major incentive right now. And it is OK to feel this good about money. Its NOT a root of evil. It can buy good foods, cases of water, donations to our favorite organization, a day off from work once a week (or at least an extra payday).

Its an exciting journey and its all there for your own good. You are a real person Pamela, and you are vulnerable. You're human, and you have a smoke-free life to lead. We are here for you. Good Luck and keep on trying!!

Peace, Gary

[djjstew]

Hi Pamela! Your doing Great! this is my 3rd quit and you will find many here who are, lets say not on their first!   All you have to do is take another step forward and Quit again and start the 1st Day of the Rest of Your Healthy life again!

[onelasttime]

Hoping you tossed the remaining cigs before you went to work...

[pamela38]

Thanks to everyone for your support.  I have managed to get through the morning without thinking about it too much.  What's hard is that my boyfriend smokes, and he says he wants to quit, but I'm not sure he's ready.  Even he said he's not sure he's ready.  I just wonder, if he continues to smoke, and I am trying to quit, where does that leave he and I?  It's a fairly new relationship, and I'm in love with him, but I'm scared that if he doesn't quit, I'll fall right back into smoking.  What to do, what to do!

[anacondahead]

"Ultimately, the devil won over."

No, not quite. The devil didn't win. You CHOSE to smoke. When you want to quit more than you want to smoke, you will. It's a bitch to quit when your boy or girl friend continues to smoke, I know. But untimately YOU are responsible for your life so you must make the choice. Choose life.

[bella65]

i would also choose life. you need to decide what you and only want to to do.no one else can make the choices for you.you can do it...we are here for you.

[Sootie]

Well Pamela---these are all just our individual opinions, and here's mine----your boyfriend's actions are his and yours are yours. You will have to live with the fact that some part of the world smokes and probably always will----might as well start with your boyfriend. I quit for 13 years at one point and my husband continued to smoke. That was never an issue for me---the no smoking was my choice. i didn't punish him with it and I didn't let him be my excuse to smoke.