Rough time today...well its the weekend and im so use to going and getting a few beers and smoking my problems away...well i thought i was helping myself but they never really went away...but for some reason it felt like smoking made it easier to deal with! Now when i have these rough days and all this stress hits me i feel i have nothting to help me cope!! im so down and out today! Been fighting with my ex all day..he is moving out very soon and is getting very verbally abusive and degrading me and making me feel so worthless lately! I just feel so alone without cigs now...ive been doing so well and only had one stressful day since i got through the withdraws but now im on my 2nd really depressing and stresful day.....so ofcourse im fighting the erge....sooooo bad!!!! I know smoking wont fix it but it wld calm me dwn...ok ok ...mo it wont...see im fighting myself in a BIG WAY!!!! : (
Feel so sad and alone.....its a good thing he is moving but its gonna be so hard on me cuz he pays half the bills and hes leaving me high and dry with a child to take care of! I gotta get out of this sadness! Ill be reading alot tonight! I have to makeit through this!
