I cannot believe tomorrow is the day. One year without a smoke. One year without even so much as a puff.
It's also one year with easier breathing. One year with more energy and strength.
This is a journey you have to take by yourself. You can have support in the way of friends and family but ultimately, the day to day and hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute struggles and temptations and decisions have to be fought and won alone.
The last twelve months I marked off the days, then the weeks, then the months of being smoke free. With each temptation overcome, the desire to smoke had less and less of a hold on me. Tomorrow I will mark off one year.
During the first months of this journey, I was encouraged by my husband. However as time ticked on, the praise seemed to lessen. At the same time, my old smoking buddy who has not quit, has barely acknowledged that I have. There were times during the year where she, knowingly or not, has tempted me. I have had to make major shifts and changes in places I visit and friends I see. It has been difficult.
Now every time I see a cigarette or see someone smoking, I think of the smell on my fingers. I think of the chemicals in my body. I think of wrinkels on my skin. I think of cancer.
What it boils down to is this: you cannot count on people to carry you through this journey. Even those you thought would be supportive and be your cheerleaders can let you down. But press on. It is worth it. You are worth it.
