Okay I am still a smoker, for 30 years I have smoked, never entertained the idea of being a non-smoker............Until recentley. I came to this site and read Allen carr's easy way to stop smoking. I was really elated, almost euphoric, the thought that I could actually consider what it could be like as a non-smoker and possibly living a life without smokes.............................
I have told my daughters about me sitting a quit date...................They are all very encouraging, but I hear the............"Okay we just won't come around for a while!" "I will be coming by for sniff, test" "Mom I really hope you do, it's unbelievable to me, you've been so commited to smoking"
My girls and Husband have also commented that to see me smile and talk about quitting kinda seems Alien to them. Hell me too!!!
I start doubting myself........THEN TODAY, out of the blue................ANGER, AGITATION, I have been reading all about quitting , educating myself, for past few days I keep a link about not smoking on my computer.
Shit, I actually allowed myself to read, and to take in knowledge of all the consequences of smoking, that I use to avoid. I'm spending so much time reading about smoking..............I'm mad that I have done this to myself, I'm also mad, because I ALSO know that if I choose to continue to smoke, I will feel worse then I did before!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I know I don't make sense, I also know this will pass, but GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
