By my absense, I am sure everyone knew I began smoking again. It isn't hard to pull apart the web quitters from the web smokers.
I was about to walk into "No Mans Land", when I took a sharp stop and smoked, re-igniting my addiction, and smoking for ten more days.
Am I an idiot, YES. Smoking is absolutely stupid.
Did I enjoy my ten days, YES. Because for those ten days I stopped obsessing over cigarettes and the fact that I could no longer have them. I no longer had to be strong. I was able to succumb to my inner junkie.
Do I regret my decision to relapse, YES. Now I have to recleanse my body, go through the withdrawal period, and re-learn my life without cigarettes. Although, it has caused me to begin attending a smoking cessation group at the local hospital, which is very helpful.
Am I ashamed of relapsing, NO. It has taught me what to look out for in the future, what to believe and not to believe, and to punch my inner junkie in the face when it starts talking again, because it is an absolute TRAP, MANIPULATOR, and I am NOT going to fail.
I refuse to fail.
So here I am, crawling back to the EX community. First to apologize for taking what you gave me for granted and wasting your valuable time, but second, to say that I am 100% ready to be a part of the 6% cold turkey quit population.
I want to be a part of the 6% cold turkey quit population........
