Quitting is no sacrifice

[Brian100]

Hey newly-quit, soon-to-quit, re-quit, and long-term quit peeps….

Don’t blog much lately but wanted to say a few words to folks who have joined EX recently.  Others feel free to skip, you are probably sick of hearing this.

When I quit I gave up nothing.  Sacrificed nada.   I get stuff instead of giving up stuff.  I get to keep my money.  I get to breathe easier.  I get to travel without timing every moment of every day around when I can access nicotine.  I am not discretely leaving the office to sneak into the alley like a junkie about to shoot up. 

I don’t call it quitting anymore; I call it gaining.  Every day I choose not to smoke I gain health, self-confidence, and yeah, money, honey.  Yes, you have to fight for the good stuff you will gain and I wish I could say there is an easy way to quit, but in my experience there isn’t.  I’m sure a lot of women wish there was an easy, comfortable way to be pregnant and give birth, but fortunately for me and you, the fact that there isn’t didn’t stop them.

I am not a fan of the term “newbie” because I chose to flush a thirteen-year quit down the toilet six years ago and am only now approaching six months smoke-free.  So even those of us who have had a long-term quit can still make a stupid choice.  I made mine because I was over a decade quit and thought one wouldn’t hurt me (yes, alcohol was involved – so do yourself a favor and put the hootch on hold for as long as need be, because your inhibitions will be lowered and trust me on this, there is no idiot like a drunk idiot, and there is not a more pathetic drunk idiot than one with his first cigarette in 13 years hanging out of his mouth).  So those of you newly quit or those of you approaching your quit date – I suggest getting rid of the booze in your house along with the ashtrays and lighters, at least for the first few months, but longer if necessary.

When the urge to smoke hits, it’s time to congratulate yourself.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  Reward yourself.  Why?  Because it’s proof you no longer smoke.  

Remind yourself that it is a scientific fact that the urge will go away whether you light up or not.  So why would you choose to light up?  Wait out the urge don’t fight it.  Tell yourself, yep, I am having an urge, it’s a big pain in the ass, but it will go away if I just leave it alone and let it throw its tantrum like a two-year old who will eventually wear himself out.

I let myself eat whatever I wanted the first couple of months.  Extra pounds are not as great a health risk as continuing to smoke.  Eventually I felt the need to amp up my workouts which was easy to do because I had greater stamina smoke-free.  First I put on 30 pounds and now I have lost 20 of those pounds and the other ten are probably here to stay, and so what?

Why lie about it, my head was in a fog for about four weeks.  Muddled thinking and forgetfulness were my daily reality for a while but I opted for an attitude of gratitude.   I thought: “At least I’m not being a miserable bastard to people.  Just spacey.”  If you are being a miserable bastard in your early quit, just tell yourself “At least I’m not a foggy-headed dimwit.”  If you are being a bastard AND in a fog, just tell yourself, “Well, at least I haven’t killed anyone.”  If you have killed someone by all means smoke, we don’t want your kind around anyway.

While the two-year old is throwing his tantrum because you chose not to light up, blog about it here at EX and you’ll have a lot of people who will talk to you until the tantrum is over.  That was a big help to me early on and I remain grateful to the people who talked me down to this day.

It’s good to have people in your corner who are around the same time quit as you are so you can bitch shamelessly if you want and give each other warm fuzzies all you want.  It’s good to know some long-term quitters who can assure you from experience that the two-year old throwing the tantrum will exhaust himself and eventually fall asleep and you can go back to the business of being the real you, not the addict you.

If tough love works for you, seek it out, if you feel like a tough lover has crossed the line to rude and/or condescending  call them out – I did.  If they are as tough as they claim, they should be able to take it along with dishing it out.  One of my favorite people on this site is one I called out on her blog because I thought her commentary was nasty and divisive.  She probably thought I was being a jerk too, and I probably was, but happily she could take it along with dishing it out.  One of my other favorites is someone who quit a little before me and is the definition of sweet and supportive and I adore her for it.   So sweet and savory both work for me, find what works for you.

Be proud of those miserable urges.  They prove you don’t smoke anymore.  Remember the two-year old’s tantrum won’t last forever, even though it may seem like it.  Be the mature one, wait him out.

Your fan,

Brian