Quitting Today vs. Staying Quit vs. Supportive Boyfriend

[tabk]

I relapsed and smoked enough consistently over three days to cause nicotine cravings and withdrawals. Today was my day not to smoke anymore. I have tried to quit so many times already and I am fed up with it! I want to quit for real this time, once and for all. I need to do this the right time so I can finally succeed. I am not sure if I should continue smoking for a while or not. If I do, I can take advantage of every step of the program here. If I do, I do not think that I will really lose any ground because I smoke every few days or weeks with increasing frequency. However, my boyfriend will be very upset. I have relapsed many times since we quit in December and I have told him each time that it would not happen again. I know that he is having a hard time believing me now, but who could blame him? He is my only support and I don't want to make him feel like I am not trying. I do want to quit. I know it will kill me. I know that it takes money that we need for our future together. I know that it hurts him. I would really appreciate any advice people can offer. tabk

[tabk]

Thank you so much! I did end-up buying a pack last night. I am setting a date within the next week though. I realized last night that the cigarettes did not make me feel better, only talking did.

[richj]

I have dealt with the same problem. I have been quitting throughout my entire 4-year relationship. I remember his disappointment after the first failed attempt. It just broke my heart, but not enough to keep me quit.

I have spent the last year, embarrassed of the smell, worried about my breath. I have been depressed because I feel so defeated. I avoid activities, because I'm afraid to show him how sick I have made myself. Smoking isn't enhancing any aspect of my relationship, in fact it is destroying it.

One time we got into an argument about wearing seat belts. My argument was why wouldn't you do something that will ultimately save your life. His response was "Why don't you quit smoking." Valid point. He has since refused to wear his seatbelt, because I choose to smoke. Do you know how many times I thought about him getting into a car accident and getting hurt—and if I had quit, he might be wearing a seatbelt. Could you imagine the guilt. I'm so selfish, that that didn't even kick start my quit.

I have come to realize, that smoking and not smoking is so incredibly personal. No one is going to understand your addiction, not me, not your boyfriend. I know why I smoke, I know what I lack to keep me from quitting. The hardest part is coming to terms with all of those flaws. It isn't about the cigarettes, it is all this other mess in the head.

If you want to quit, no more excuses, you just have to do it. No more cigarettes, not even one.

You can do this. And you are not alone, you have this entire community of people to help you.
Good luck.