Quit Day is Monday! Advice?

[lilbeanmachine]

I'm quitting vaping on Monday and smoking my last cigarette today. 

A little bit about my situation: 

It's unconfirmed yet, but my father-in-law and his wife may be moving in with my wife and I either Monday or Tuesday.   Normally,  I'd continue my bad habits regardless.  But I can't,  not only because it's bad for me, but because he is being released from the hospital from smoking related cancer and lung surgery.   He 1. Can't be around cigarettes at all because he is a 40+ year long recovering ex smoker and 2.  It could cause further damage to his ailing COPD lungs ( and what he has left of the 2nd lung). 

As for my emotional health,  I've been putting off my vaping and smoking habits because I'm under a lot of stress because my grandmother (who is practically my mom, because she raised me), is on her 2nd month in hospice in a nursing home.  She has the final stage of dementia and I'm just an emotional wreck.  I don't talk much about it.  I know I should.   But it hurts knowing I'll lose her in a couple of months.   I wanted to wait 6 months after she passed to quit.   Unforeseen circumstances happened and very, very quickly (regarding my father-in-law). 

My physical health overall is excellent! Blood work comes back perfect, BMI is gradually lowering, blood pressure has been reduced,  my thyroid goiter levels are evening out steadily.   Except,  there's one thing: my asthma.  It was induced originally by smoking.  I didn't have it as child, teenager, or very young adult.  It came on when I was about 27 or 28.  I'm now turning 36 in a couple of months.   I used to be hospitalized every year due to asthmatic bronchitis when I smoked.  The last straw came late December 2014 after I was hospitalized for asthmatic bronchitis,  pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung.   I had been smoking 3.5 packs a day! No wonder I was so ill.  So I quit by using lozenges for 6 months and stayed quit for 26 months.   What made me start up? I had to watch my grandfather wither away in a hospice bed from colon cancer for 2 weeks until just hours before he passed away.  I had to help aid take care of him and comfort him.   It messed me up really bad.  I started smoking but ended up vaping and switching from vaping to dual use.  

My asthma attacks have been worsening the more I vape. Especially on days where I smoke too many cigarettes.   Now I'm hearing about vaping related ailments and now even  a recent death.  I talked to my primary doctor and he said new studies are being done on vaping and I asked "How can something I've been told is safer for me than cigarettes, be safe when it's making me so sick?" He replied "It is not safe." then just looked really concerned when he told me how many problems and cancers it will cause.   I was alarmed.   I felt lied to by the vaping industry for the past 32 months.  All that money down the drain on vaping related products.  Now my health is started to show the even further damage and, that, is what infuriates me more.  

Last night,  I was doing research on studies of the dangers of vaping (since I already know the dangers of smoking) and got even more scared and angry.  I figured I needed to fuel the quit process.  

Next, I developed a quit plan and decided I'd buy extra lozenges next month because I already have some in the pantry.  

Finally,  I looked up what I needed to prepare for mentally and somehow this site came up first on my search.  Wow.  Talk about divine intervention! 

Now,  what should I do to prepare myself physically and mentally? For the past year, I've been trying and trying to quit but one time only made it 19 days cold turkey.   I usually only last 3 or 4 days.  Now I know in only a few days time, I won't have the option.   I've literally tried every method imaginable: Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking " (I read it in its entirety), lozenges,  gum, patches, medication, and cold turkey.  Nothing worked.  So I'm going back to my original quit plan: Habitrol lozenges and then switching to my favorite Equate mini 4mg lozenges.   I'm currently vaping 6mg, 50mg and 3 to 5 cigarettes a day.  Would I be better on the patch? I like to exercise and take a lot of showers because of that, so it didn't seem ideal. Tapering down obviously isn't an option. I fortunately have a counselor for extra advice but suggested tapering down and tried that too, with no luck.   I'm just at a loss.   The stress of in-laws moving in has me panicked.   

My wife also is a dual user but plans to quit as well.  She's been smoking for 20 years and vaping for 35 months.   

I'm so sorry this is so much information to take in and to unload here, I just don't know where to turn. Any advice would be so helpful, please.