~~May you never be the reason why someone who loved to sign, doesn't anymore. Or why someone who dressed so uniquely, now wears plain clothing. Or why someone who always spoke so excitedly about their dreams, is now silent about them. May you never be the reason someone gave up on a part of themselves because you were demotivating, non-appreciative, hypercritical, or even worse--sarcastic about it.~~ Mostafa Ibrahim
Everyone has an off day. A grumpy day. An "I should have stayed in bed" day. The kind of day that rains on your parade and makes you look at the world with angry eyes.
But that doesn't give you an excuse to be mean to others. Yes, I know that everyone makes mistakes. And yes, I know that those who love you, love you anyway.
But words hurt. And once out there, can't be taken back. And though they may forgive, it hurt.
So practice the pause. Before you spew, stew. Is it kind? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? And if it's not, don't say it.
Because I know you don't mean it. I know you aren't super critical of others. I know you aren't judgmental. And I know you don't enjoy inflicting pain on anyone.
So practice the pause. Silently count to five. Take three really, really deep breaths.
Yes, quitting can bring out our worst. And we have to deal with the anger we used to stuff down as we puffed away. The daily annoyances we could let go of through our addiction. The frustrations and the stresses and the hurts and the....well, you know. We smoked away everything.
So when we quit, we have to learn how to work through our negative emotions...and even our positive ones. We have to remember who we are before our addiction took over everything. We have to learn to communicate, to apologize, to identify how we are feeling and why we are feeling. And we have to do all this without damaging somebody else in the process.
Because we all have our journeys and they all matter as much as yours. And that co-worker you barked at already felt bad about his mistake. And that store clerk you criticized for her slowness may be working two jobs to feed her family. And that dreamer who wants to save the world you laughed at may never again believe she can.
Practice the pause, my dear Exers. And when you forget and say something unkind, apologize. Quitting doesn't give us reason to be unkind to others. If anything, we should understand how very difficult life can be and we should be kinder because of it.
May you have a very happy Wednesday!!
Sheri
